HW26- Looking Back and Forward in Unit

Important Ideas / Insights:

-My own experiences in the emergency room lessened my hatred and personal intensity with illness and dying, most likely because I myself was in the 'hot seat' and was able to observe and infer from an 'ill person''s point of view. (source is obviously LIFE EXPERIENCE)

-I am now aware of more examples of determined people such as Dr. Paul Farmer, but I just cannot figure out how an inevitable problem such as illness and dying can be "solved". ("Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder)

-Best idea I took from Mountains Beyond Mountains: "I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I'm not going to stop because we keep losing. Now I actually think sometimes we may win. I don't dislike victory." ("Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder)

-While I admired Michael Moore's spin on the world of healthcare and its problems, I couldn't help but think of it as no better than a cartoon after watching the realistic and self-explanatory "Near Death" by Frederick Wiseman. I think the main difference is that Moore felt like in order for people to understand he had to include witty commentary and flashy graphics, whereas Wiseman simply knew that in order to penetrate the audience most, all he needed to do was hit 'record'.

-We are always kidding ourselves about death. We all at one point (whether we like to admit it or not) believe we are invincible, that death is unreachable, and that we are meant for "another day". This is perfectly understandable. Unless us human beings are convincing enough to fool ourselves about an afterlife, no one has the ability to fathom what happens when the 'long defeat' simply becomes the 'defeat'.

Even though it was short-lived, I really found "Near Death" to be the strongest of the sources presented in the unit (to me... understand that I've heard and talk to my mom all the time about my dad) because it felt like a revisit to my own brutal experiences with death. It was so interesting to me to get a first-hand look at how the doctors and nurses approached these touchy situations, not only toward each other but toward the dying people. Of course "Sicko" was entertaining and informative, and I'd be sure to watch it again, but I feel like its more entertainment than substance compared to Wiseman's efforts. Also, I felt like Moore was the puppet master of his film, controlling all that we see and what sources we consult. Wiseman seemed like a passenger, giving us a grand tour of what REALLY matters in the end- the illness and the dying!

My questions that I think would be interesting to discuss in class over the last couple of weeks would be: If we know illness and dying are truly inevitable, how can we cope with it? I mean how can we be at peace with this horrifying fact? Is there any way to make dying less painful? Isn't illness and dying necessary? Isn't it true that if we ALL received wonderful care, that fewer would die and therefore the world would become over-populated (getting even MORE out of hand)? I think these are questions we've brushed around, but have never directly addressed in full-out intellectual discussion.

HW25- Sicko Response

Precis of movie (at least as much as we watched in class): America is a land of freedom and equal opportunity- until you take a good look at the greatest equalizer of them all: illness and dying. There are millions of Americans who cannot afford or qualify for Health Insurance, and as a result they unnecessarily suffer from mutilation, deformation and humiliation (excuse the alliteration!). As if this were not unfair enough, there are people in this land of opportunity who have Health Insurance and STILL cannot receive adequate care for their illness. Like many other "lovely" qualities of the US, Health Insurance is simply another victim to capitalism; the rich get the greatest care and they themselves are often in control of picking and choosing who gets covered and who doesn't. Why not follow suit like other successful countries' healthcare programs? Because Pat Buchanan is afraid of communism of course!

One piece of evidence that Moore used to bolster his argument that I found quite shocking was the 79 year-old man sweeping bathrooms at PathMark. This may not have been the grandest or strongest use of evidence he made, but it disturbed me nonetheless. The reason why he continues to work turning on 80 is because his employer supplies him with adequate health coverage, something he could in no way attain himself in retirement. Moore is relying on the sympathy of the audience to strengthen his argument that Health Insurance in the U.S. has become long astray to exclude such an elder, and it succeeds.

Although it's general, I was curious to see how much the number of people with health insurance has changed. This does seem to be the first and foremost of Moore's pieces of evidence, after all. Upon some research I found this number to be mostly unchanged. However, I did come across some interesting statistics regarding the reasons for those who do NOT have insurance. It is estimated that there are about 46 million people in the U.S. who do not have HI in total. However, it should be noted that at least 10 million from this sum are not officially U.S. citizens. I found it interesting that on July 22nd, Obama claimed that 14,000 people will lose insurance every day. I am not entirely sure where HE got his source, but coming from him I suppose most people (excluding how ever many people Rush Limbaugh counts as) will take his word for it. I also found out that over 18 million of the uninsured are younger than the age of 34, which I find to be disturbing. Why Moore omitted some of these pieces of information is beyond me, but maybe it was because these facts came from http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/medicarehealthinsurance/a/insurancestats.htm.

Overall I think "Sicko" is an entertaining and informative movie, but I do get a feeling afterward that I have just watched a cartoon. While Moore's witty and sometimes aggravating commentary keeps the "average Joe" type viewer following along, and as I look deeper into his arguments and overarching thesis I have a hard time considering the credibility of his film. After thinking about other movies having to do with illness and dying that actually take the viewer into the hospital scene to leave them with only their own thoughts and no narrator "Sicko" feels kind of like a Quentin Tarantino movie (something that is undoubtably fun to watch but on a grand scale somewhat irrelevant). I find myself agreeing with Moore and seeing him as "one on our team" but having gone through intense experiences of I&D I am skeptical about his decision on what to show the mainstream audience. He seems to be preoccupied arguing about money, not the moral of the doctors themselves. I will certainly be sure to watch "Sicko" again, maybe with a more critical eye know that I know about other films.

HW 24- End of Book

Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Random House, 2004

Precis of ENTIRE BOOK:

Dr. Paul Farmer is a headstrong doctor and philosopher who subscribes to a world that excludes no one. He makes great sacrifice (his absence from his family and friends, his lack of sleep) to love and serve the world. From the cracked roads of Haiti to the slums of Peru, from the gruesome prisons of Russia and beyond he devotes his life to the health and well-being of the world around him. He is not a man without flaws, but a genius who is determined to fight a long, inevitable defeat to the things which makes us all similar: illness and dying. He may lose patients beyond his control and his temper, but he never gives up and never fails to make a triumphant return to his ultimate mission: to revolutionize and transform our morals that have to do with illness and dying. Tracy Kidder tags along to follow the chronicles of Partners in Health, Farmer's flagship organization, and finds that there is much to be learned from him. Paul Farmer knows that one day he will die and TB and AIDS will continue, but at least for a while, he felt like he was winning a fight against death- not just for himself, but for the world around him.

Gems:

"Now his legs and arms were emaciated. You could see all the bones in them, and his knee and elbow joints looked outsize, with the flesh shrunk away." (P. 268) This stopped me dead in my tracks. This was very very hard to read because it did a wonderful job of recreating some twisted images from my own memory I'd rather have forgotten. The connection between John and my father may not be great, but after reading this quote I cursed on anyone who would dare to get in the way of his survival. All the more tragic was his loss of the battle...

"I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I'm not going to stop because we keep losing. Now I actually think sometimes we may win. I don't dislike victory." I feel like this almost entirely explains how Farmer identifies himself and his obligations towards others. I really admire his optimism that he helps others believe they are winning the fight against the long defeat, but I also admire his realism in that he knows in the end, it is just a long DEFEAT.

"The woman who said to me years ago, Are you incapable of complexity? That was an epiphany for me. Are you going to punish people for thinking TB comes from sorcery? It's like the guy on our own team, a nice guy, who said he would help with a water project in a town here, but only if the people really showed they wanted it. What if that standard had been applied to me when I was a kid, before I knew that water could carry organisms that made people sick?" This quote really spoke to me. Many people in our culture look to religion and their own belief system to dig deep and do two things: blame sickness on the divine and use the same idols as a motivator to help. Everyone is pretty much on the same team when it comes to illness and dying (unless you're a serial killer!).

In the end the final third of this book was an intense journey. I felt like most of my questions were answered (mainly questions like "what makes this guy tick?" and "doesn't he realize his futility in the grand scheme of things?") and I felt a deep connection between one of the chapters (the one about John) and my own life experiences. I think Dr. Farmer is a rare breed- one who simply does not care about the glory or the money, but whose only mission is to help others believe that they can win the long fight against death, even if it is just for a glimpse of a moment. People just don't want to die, and Farmer takes each and every one of these people in as if they were his own family. He may have been reckless and at some times chaotic, but in the end he is really just an advocate for those who need it most- the dying! I have to wonder how he could possibly outdo himself and/or what will happen when he finally "faces the long defeat".

HW 23- Illness and Dying Book Part 2

Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Random House, 2004

Precis on chapters 12-14:

As Paul continued to make his trips between Boston and Cange, military rule was growing rapidly and Paul's girlfriend Ophelia became worried. Paul had become somewhat reckless, being rude to soldiers and smuggling thousands of dollars towards pacifist movements. It took the circumstance of gunpoint for Farmer to finally give in to the immense sacrifice (according to him of course) of saying "long live the Haitian army." After receiving a MacArthur grant in 1993, Paul retreated to Quebec to write his to-be successful and controversial book, "The Uses of Haiti" where he questioned the credibility of 'heroes' such as Woodrow Wilson and Mother Teresa. Finally, Farmer was formally banished from returning to Haiti (even bribery could not undo this) until October of 1994 when Aristide was reinstated. Paul returned to a different Haiti this time however, one that had been ravaged and virtually broken to shambles after the rule of the junta. Partners in Health had done quite the opposite, and only strengthened during this time. After obtaining a permanent HQ in Cambridge, it was now time for Paul to stretch his revolutionary arm to a new location.

Paul takes this new time to reflect on perhaps his biggest opponent: MDR, Multi-Drug Resistant TB. TB was one of the most common diseases Paul treated in Haiti, but MDR did not appear on the radar until the rule of the junta. Paul comes to realize that poverty is diseases' greatest boon, but super diseases such as MDR do not often appear in universally poor populations like in Haiti. This poverty creates a lack of basic human necessities: food, water, shelter that all help prevent deadly diseases. When a friend of Paul's falls victim to the frightening MDR in Peru, he takes this a sign as to where his efforts are needed most.

While still attending medical school, Paul had lived in the infamous Roxbury neighborhood of Boston. However, he was living in the hands of Father Jack, a priest who allowed Paul to stay at St. Mary of the Angels for the better part of his education. Long since after, Father Jack moved to the quaint slum of Carabayllo in Peru. Upon one of his visits back to Boston, Father Jack tells Paul that Carabayllo could use his help. Jim Kim, Paul's right hand man makes it clear that he wants to take charge of the Peru project and not long after helps to build a pharmacy next to Jack's church. Jim and Jack survey the medical scene in Carabayllo, and all seems fine until Father Jack becomes suddenly ill. He is diagnosed with TB, flown to Boston to be treated by Dokte Paul himself and treated with 4 of the 5 main TB drugs. Much to Paul's dread and dismay, Father Jack is of no saving and dies a month later. It turns out his friend had MDR, but not just any MDR, but a species impervious to all 5 TB drugs. Paul is broken.

BEST LINE (would post multiple gems but I found this particularly striking):

"Perhaps it is a universal tendency to view the deaths of strangers philosophically."- I found this quote to be very deep because in a sense I think we all disconnect ourselves from those who have died in order to view it in a strictly objective way. All the time we see people die on the news, and although these are strangers, we often take advantage of the news to widen our views on illness and dying. When a close family member becomes ill or dies, it becomes personal, not just to the sick or dead person, but it seems like the devil is out to screw you personally. We can't exactly take a step back to think about our loved ones' death in a philosophical way, whether it be because of pain or lack of memory (trauma often ends up as a blur in our memories).

Thoughts and Questions:

Up until now Paul seemed to me like a superhero. Maybe I was mislead but I felt like at the beginning of the book, if I was ever in danger, this guy was a definite trip to safety. Finally seeing one of his best friends die from a disease he could do nothing about was heartbreaking. Throughout these chapters one word has been ringing through my mind: bravery. The bravery Paul had to be so smug and disrespectful toward the junta, the bravery of Jim to lead PIH in Peru, the bravery of Father Jack to survey the sick people in his community. From the outcome of these events and my own personal experiences I know that bravery alone cannot save you, and in some cases, it's all about luck. Who's to say one day Paul wouldn't have run into a particularly pissed off soldier to find a cap in his head? What were the odds of neither Jim or Father Jack being in the pharmacy when it blew up? These are just thoughts that make me admire Paul and co. a lot more than I already did (which is pretty damn impressive!).

HW 21B Comments and more

Comment on Casey's HW21:

Casey,

It feels awfully weird commenting on this post, but I am very happy and touched by what you wrote. I felt you especially got who my father was, and I honestly would have thought you had known him prior to his illness by this sentence:

"Those who knew him remember him as an artist, a father, a neighborhood guardian, an involved community member, tenacious, stoic, a “fighter”. Although he was involved in various familial conflicts and was sometimes far from a peace-maker, the positive parts of his memory are particularly preserved."

Your last paragraph in its entirety spoke many truths to me, sometimes in ways I never even thought about myself (how pain represents the courage to feel). I wish I could write such a faithful and earnest tribute for you, but again part of me is glad you are not in my position. I sincerely appreciate your kind words, and as always I look forward to future posts,

Comment on Eloise's HW19:

Eloise,

"I think this exemplifies the INSANITY and abnormality of our society that the healing of the mind and human body IS predominantly INDUSTRIAL? "

You speak the truth! I think you hit the nail right on the head here and did a great job articulating your insights. However, like Casey, I too wonder what you mean by "TIME ENDS". Do you mean our sense of time, or time itself stops? I also agree with you that society (at least ours) is GROSSLY obsessed with eternal youth, which is a subject that hasn't really been touched on yet.

Spell check on Microsoft Word would not hurt, but again this is a minor suggestion.

Comment left on my HW 19 by Aaron:

I found the line where your mom was talking about the effect it had on her relationship with your father, "She said that IF there was any way that his illness and dying had any positive aspect (not really appropriate word choice but I honestly can't think of anything better to replace "positive", excuse me), it was in the effect it had on their marriage" to be very touching. It makes one think you never know what you have until it's too late. To know that your mother and father made a positive experience out of something so horribly dreadful gives me a better understanding of making the best of a bad situation. I can't even imagine what this whole process was like for you all. Sorry if this comment is not appropriate enough, but this very hard for me to write about. Thank you for allowing me to read this and I think you did a great job explaining your family experiences to illness and dying.

Comment left on my HW 21/Reflection by Mom:

I was quite struck by two things you said. First, I hadn't thought about your peers scrutinizing you for reactions to what I was saying. I suppose I thought about what they might be thinking when YOU spoke, but it never occurred to me that they would be looking at you for reactions as I spoke. I also never think of you as being particularly concerned with what others think of you because you always seems so sure of yourself, so it was interesting to me to hear you voice this. It made you a little more vulnerable in my eyes, not a bad thing. Secondly (and I suppose this is related), I never realized that you felt misunderstood by your peers (or cared). As close as we are, I guess we still have a lot we can learn about one another. In general, I wish to say that your postings have been very brave, and that I admire you and love you very much.

Mom

Comment on my Reflection by Casey:

Evan,
I did sometimes wonder what you were thinking in your mother's presentation, and why you sometimes smiled a bit. I think everyone does have an inherent desire to be heard...sometimes silence can be like shell, a burden. Perhaps you could have elaborated on the "deepest, most painful realms of my thoughts", because it would help the reader to understand your story further. I admire the way you continue to handle this episode with such grace.

Comment on my Reflection by Eloise:

I AM SO UPSET I MISSED THIS !!! HONESTLY THIS IS THE ONLY CLASS I WISH I COULD GOT TO SCHOOL FOR !!! GRRRRRR !!! you stated "search the deepest, most painful realms of my thoughts" I have been doing this alone recentley and I feel it has been helping me but it is hard, what were some of the questions asked?

Comment on my ER Reflection by Eloise:

I wish you would have reflected upon how this compares to the dominant social practice, why was your trip so anti-body? Does this show you that hospitals DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE PATIENT THEY CARE ABOUT THE $. I feel you on there not being one nurse/doctor, my uncles first MONTH in the hospital was the same !! It is ironic though how knowing that hostpitals are about the money, we still go. It is the ultimate money making trap, who dosent want to save there life if possible? I have to agree with you, I am sick @ home and it sucks!! but i do love the attention from my parents. I think this post and the one before it were great but need more reflection on how this connects to the bigger theme of our class ! The last one I get you just got home, I am even suprised you were able to bang out that much !!! But i was expecting more from this 1 !

HW 22- Illness and Dying Book Part 1

Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Random House, 2004

Precis of Chapters 5-6: Doctor Farmer had quite an adventurous and unusual upbringing. His father, known to many as "The Warden" because of his strict ways toward his children led a ship of six kids, Paul being the second youngest. Paul turned out to be very gifted in his intelligence, and even after having a considerably rowdy college life became the very successful doctor and writer he is today. He was able to flourish in an otherwise challenging environment, and eventually Paul came to realize that his true calling was not to simply heal others, but to transform the healing of the less fortunate in Haiti. His studies of Virchow and Haiti culminated in a 6,000 word article about Haitians laboring near the college campus, entitled "Haitians without a home."

Best Line(s):

"Medical education does not exist to provide students with a way of making a living, but to ensure the health of the community."

"The physicians are the natural attorneys of the poor, and the social problems should largely be solved by them."

Thoughts/Questions:

-"P.J." must have truly been gifted, I honestly cannot imagine such a brainy kid coming out of that upbringing otherwise.

-I was really surprised to hear that Paul tried all of this crazy stuff and failed to get straight A's (especially him) for his early college career. I would have thought he would have already been making great strides.

-It sounds to me like this is somebody who really cares about helping people. I hope this doesn't sound offensive, but I wouldn't go to Haiti if you paid me. Paul sounds like someone who is not afraid to get their hands dirty, and that his only satisfaction can come from healing and changing other's lives.

-This is not really related, but I wonder if this were a mandatory read in medical school, if there might be an ethical change on the "dominant" side of this social practice.

Reflection on Today's Presentation

When it comes to today's presentation, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable sitting up there listening to my mom speak. I wasn't uncomfortable simply because I was sad or embarrassed (of course I was sad but not embarrassed), but because I wondered what people were seeing in me as I silently sat there. I occasionally shifted my eyes around the room to see of any of my peers were observing me. Did they think I was an emotionless robot? Did they admire me for my stability? Were they simply giving me pity? Were they searching for certain reactions at particular parts of my mom's speech? While I felt uncomfortable, I have to admit it felt great, amazing almost, to finally have my peers hear my story. Like I have mentioned on multiple occasions, I feel misunderstood by my peers, and I think that finally having them sit and listen (to my MOM for pete's sake) and nothing more was satisfying in the comforting sense that I know perhaps they now understand me a little bit more. Answering questions after lunch was not difficult at all, in fact it was almost a revelation for me, to question and search the deepest, most painful realms of my thoughts. It is not something I am often able to do, and I am very appreciative that my peers did not hesitate to ask such questions, in fact I commend them for their bravery: these are questions I am not even asked by from my own family. Whether this is out of respect or sympathy I do not know, but what I do know is that those who asked questions today and even those who did not genuinely cared, and I deeply thank them for that with all of my heart.

I am making one edit: I am quite surprised that hardly anyone has mentioned me in their posts. Not that I mean to sound self-centered, but if I were observing, one of the first things I would have asked myself was how I got through the entire thing, why I didn't crumble or currently show signs of being emotionally disturbed, or signs of any traumatizing past? I think part of the reason why is because (and I hope nobody takes this personally) my peers are uncomfortable characterizing me in their posts, for fear that I might read them and be offended in some way. If anyone honestly had any questions, musings or insights having specifically to do with me, let me say right now that by all means, please do. And if you are still uncomfortable putting it up for anyone to read, a personal message will do just fine. I am not, will not ever be offended by how you characterize me.

HW19- Family Perspectives on Illness and Dying

As everyone (in Andy's class) now knows, my mom and I have been through the most extreme of illness and dying situations in the last 10 days of my father's life. Because of this experience we share we are able to talk together on almost the same level about not only my father's illness and dying, but moral values and world views about illness, dying, denial and the medical systems of the world. When I interviewed my mom, I had a good feeling I knew exactly what she was going to say, and not just because I've heard the story, but because I played an active part in it.

The first question I asked her regarded the everlasting battle between allopathic and holistic medical beliefs and techniques. I myself see it necessary to meet in the middle and take the best from both sides, and my mom did not see it any different. While she is a firm believer in the spirit and attitude that comes with holistic methods, she thinks it would be foolish to completely shun the allopathic side of the spectrum. In the end, holistic ways may keep our minds and fortitude alive and well, but there is no denying that in most cases allopathic ways keep our bodies alive, which are essential. She also associated words such as "comfort" and "encouragement" with the holistic end of the spectrum, and words like "security" and "protection" towards allopathy. I found that these were particularly fitting, and made me see things with a different light. I find myself asking if my mom was willing to give up my father's"security" for his "comfort" in his last hours. But I also ask if she was in turn sacrificing his "protection", which probably doesn't apply here because at that point, what protection could the allopathic really offer?

Then I asked a question that I felt was slightly dangerous: if there was any way, ANY way to view the experience in a positive way, what was it? For me the answer to the question is that at the very least, and by this I mean THE VERY LEAST I know what true dying looks like as a filmmaker. But for my mom, whom the experience was the most emotionally intense, was there anything gained from the experience? Her answer was much like what she told everyone today: you learn that you have to be your best advocate, and that the experience, as horrifying and gruesome as it ended up being, brought their relationship together almost at its strongest. Rather than worry about things like taxes or finding work, the two could reconnect, and in addition to their relationship becoming more intimate, much of the tension between my father and my mom's side of the family subsided. She said that IF there was any way that his illness and dying had any positive aspect (not really appropriate word choice but I honestly can't think of anything better to replace "positive", excuse me), it was in the effect it had on their marriage.

In the end I know that my mom and I have this special connection that nobody else on the planet can have, and because of this we seem to be very in touch with each other's thinking. I knew exactly what she meant because I had gone through almost just as much as she did with my father's illness (by this I mean the latter stages). I have to wonder if anyone can ever understand it as much as we do, especially because we did it so differently from how anyone would have treated the situation. Unfortunately even the closest of other family members will never share this connection with us, however I do NOT think it is degrading or lacking of our relationship, just an experience that is missing. Hopefully most of my peers my mom talked to this morning will have gotten as close as possible to understand our story.

Illness at the Emergency Room Wednesday Night! (Insights)

The very first impressions that came to my mind entering and waiting in the Emergency Room (other than "OW THIS HURTS LIKE HELL WHERE'S MY ROOM") were that the hospital (not just the room closest to outside but the actual room I stayed in) were freezing. I didn't have a fever at the time, and although I understand there are machines that need to be in a certain climate to function I could not understand for the life of me why they could not turn up the thermostat.

I also have to wonder why my wait time was so short compared to other sick looking people who had obviously been waiting longer than me. Of course I did not waste a second considering this at the time, but I know I would NOT be happy if I was just sitting there watching people get called in after arriving 5 minutes ago.

I found it interesting that rather than assign me one nurse or doctor, there was a constant flux of different nurses and attendants that I did not know waking me up every half-hour. I also found it weird that no matter how many times I repeated myself, they continued to ask the same questions over and over again. Maybe my view is exaggerated because by 5:00am I just wanted some sleep, but it left me wondering why they couldn't assign me just one nurse who already knew the answers to their questions in addition to where my pain was. Other than this little annoyance I really had no issues with the staff, all who were very friendly and mentally and emotionally dedicated to my well-being.

With regards to the seemingly "magical" nap that I took, I still do not understand what it was that cured me almost instantly. I suppose it has something to do with lifting the mental and physical stress that was on my body before I simply called it quits and laid down. This also leads me to question whether or not the doctors had the greatest intuition- everyone, with great confidence thought that I had appendicitis, and in the end I didn't have that or even an intestinal blockage- just a bad virus. Of course I couldn't really blame them, I WAS showing all of the symptoms, and I myself was convinced I had it.

This WAS my first time ever in a hospital for serious illness, and I have to say the experience was bitter, sweet, and then bitter again. Of course the beginning was bitter because it felt like I had been impaled by a flagpole. After my nap however, I have to admit being "ill" and having people catering to my every whim was actually somewhat enjoyable. This somewhat contradicts what I said in HW17 about no aspect of illness being enjoyable, and in retrospect I was probably angry given the subject matter. If I said being able to watch TV, play games on my iPod and surf the web while I waited for people to give me pillows and blankets while complimenting me about my mood was not enjoyable in any aspect, I would probably dunk my head in the urinal they supplied me. This was swell for a while until the next morning, where I simply had enough. I felt fine, the CT scan confirmed my lack of a serious problem and I was itching to leave. I waited a seemingly endless amount of time for some paperwork to work its way to us so I could leave, and as I sat in my own sweaty pajamas with a huge IV in my arm I found myself listening for hopeful footsteps to approach my room. They wouldn't show up until hours later of course! What if there was another sick kid, who really NEEDED the room who didn't have one while I sat in here like a king?

The actual CT scan was to my surprise quite intriguing. I'll spare you, the lucky reader the less attractive details but it certainly helped one of my problems (if you can guess what that is, if not, I'll leave it at that!). Being immersed in the giant machine was kind of freaky, it felt like I was in some sort of sci-fi film and the laser was scanning alien bacteria in my stomach. The actual effect of the laser ring was a surprise to me. My entire body became really hot and I felt like I couldn't breath (not like I was anxious, but I actually felt like there was a restriction on my lung intake. Overall this was actually fun, and a huge relief afterwards (again, I will stay ambiguous here).

Finally I HAVE to say something about "lunch". It's not like I expected a filet mignon but mystery meat? With a thick coat of barbegoop on it? Uhhhh. Thanks? On the side were some seasoned potato wedges, which were not bad, and cooked carrots. I found it kind of strange that one slice of bread could come in its own package, and that they gave it to me plain and not toasted. Perhaps they were thinking I had some sort of dietary restrictions? In the end, a nice hot cup of tea kept me busy as I waited in the final moments.

Overall, my stay was an interesting experience and I am CERTAIN it will give me a fresh perspective on illness as we go into this unit. Would I do it again? Not necessarily, because in order for it to happen I would have to vomit a waterfall all over again! And besides, I was extremely lucky that I did not require an operation, which would've proved to be an entirely different, not so fortunate experience.

Illness at the Emergency Room Wednesday night! (Narrative only)

Although I realize this doesn't exactly fulfill the requirement to HW19 (which I will absolutely post separately in the near future) I thought this was worth writing about. This post is completely narrative. I will give my insights on the entire situation after they can properly sink in in another, separate post. If this post seems overly long, I apologize, but please understand that documenting specific details will help me write my impressions, observations, feelings and insights when the time comes.

At about 5:00 am on Wednesday morning my stomach was upsetting me. Now I will spare you the less attractive details, but it certainly was not pretty. However, I decided that something as intermittent as stomach aches were not worth missing school for, so I decided to go anyway. I had a fairly good and active day, my stomach aches subsided and a satisfying lunch.

Then it hit me.

Halfway through teaching my after school class I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my lower right quadrant. I decided that it was probably best that I leave and get some rest (I did have a long day at internship ahead of me). When I got home I tried to lay down on my couch, but could not bring myself to peace. The pain was too much, and at about 6:00 I began considering if this wasn't simply part of my condition, but an entirely different monster. This felt like no ordinary stomach ache, so I asked my mom to look up the symptoms for appendicitis. Low and behold I had all of the symptoms and I made my mom call my pediatrician, a man who I trust very highly as a diagnostician. He thought it was wise that I head to the emergency room, and because I was already considering that myself I obeyed.

The minute I got into the car I vomited buckets worth of food onto the car floor. Personally I find throwing up to be my least favorite sensation of the body. I always feel like I am choking and cannot breath while puking my guts out at the same time. When I arrived at Mt. Sinai Hospital, there were many people waiting to be seen. However, it seemed that I was lucky, because I was called in not very long after I checked in. THEN came the true waiting. I sat in a chilly room on a plastic chair feeling the worst pain I had ever felt in my life, desperately looking around for a sign that I might soon me relieved and taken into a room. Eventually I WAS called into a room for examining where a lovely nurse pressed around my abdominal area. As soon as she finished doing so however, I heaved up more vomit, a seemingly impossible amount at that, and with the addition of the pain and hunger I now had I was simply defeated. They stuck me with an unusually long IV needle, which because I am usually comfortable with needles was not a challenge. They decided that a CT scan was necessary, and perhaps a serious operation to follow that up. After getting tired of waiting for the next step, a decided to try and take a nap again.

When I woke up the world had changed. I was suddenly warm, my thirst was satisfied and there was no stomach pain to speak of. I had not been operated on or even so much as touched since an hour before, and the pain that once put me in serious, unmatched fear was history. My brother called, oblivious to the entire situation and was very worried about my situation. A few friends of mine had also been checking up on me, and I thank them for that. My brother was nice enough to inform the world on his Facebook page, and for once I overlooked my worn out political statement to see what people were saying. At around 1:00am I was given about 1000mL of contrast to drink for my CT scan, which despite everyone's warnings I didn't find to be too disgusting. After another seemingly interminable amount of time I was wheel-chaired to the scan room, where a giant spinning laser tunnel took pictures of my intestinal track.

I didn't get the results of my scan until long after I was moved into my new room on another floor. There many nurses asked me strange questions and I didn't get to actual sleep until around 5:30am. Every so-often I would doze off but nearly every half hour a new nurse came around to ask me the same questions and check my vitals. Finally, the next morning I was met by my pediatrician (whom I had consulted earlier) and my GI doctor. It turned out that the results were surprisingly good, and not only did I NOT have appendicitis, but I didn't have a major blockage either. Because of this, I was finally allowed to eat again knowing that I would not be having an operation. The tray of food they gave me consisted of mystery meat (it somewhat resembled chicken), seasoned potatoes, diced pear, bread and butter and tea. At around 3:00pm I was finally dismissed from the hospital.

As soon as this all sinks in enough to thoroughly analyze it (and after a good amount of rest), I will post another entry strictly focusing on my impressions, observations, feelings, insights, etc.

HW 18 Health & Illness & Feasting

To our family Thanksgiving is one of those times of the year that is simply reliable: we know exactly what to expect. I say this because ever since my Grandmother's house burned down in 2001 (my grand uncle Sandy died in this fire), our holidays and vacations as a family have never been the same. Almost immediately after the fire (this was just before 9/11, mind you) and during the construction of the new house my Grandfather died from an obscure infection. Ever since this catastrophic turn of events in our family it seems like our get-togethers have never been the same. Over many holidays and vacations in the past decade we have seen many outsiders come and go in our intimate family gatherings. Christmas, while it still remains my favorite time of the year due to tradition (mainly the one where I get loads of free goodies) has become bastardized into something reminiscent of an open house where anyone, no matter your relationship with the family are welcome to partake in our most sacred of traditions.

But back to Thanksgiving. I say this is one of the most reliable times of the year because it still keeps true to what made our family get-togethers so enjoyable: the family. The awkwardness of the outsider is rare on this holiday and it is one of the last remaining times of the year where we can just be comfortable with ourselves because we know each other's stories so well. What I mean by this is similar to what I meant in my last post when I said I felt misunderstood by people who don't know that I cared for my father during and after his death. When I meet new people in an intimate environment I usually find myself trying to make an impression, but instead of one that is illustrative of my pain and suffering I end up creating an image of comedy, like I am silly and do not spend time to contemplate the meaning of illness and dying. This of course is false, and although I do see myself as a pretty funny personality I regret that so few people understand my other half. When outsiders are around at Thanksgiving, Christmas or Passover it is inevitable that this will come into play.

Thanksgiving can also be a time of unreliability, as I witnessed that this was the time of year when my father was diagnosed with cancer. Of course I was not informed yet, my mother waited for a more suitable time to tell my brother and I.

This Thanksgiving was a good one, with some of the BEST mashed potatoes in the world thanks to my aunt Karen. This is a meal that is only second to the one I look forward to most: Grandma's Matzoh Ball Soup (which unfortunately I won't be here for this Passover!). This meal was meant for nothing more than to stuff ourselves senselessly, and when desert came I stuck to a modest plate of whipped cream (yes JUST whipped cream. Stop looking at me like that.). Pretty much everyone helped with the dinner (except for those of us who showed up late. Guess who.), and every one of us enjoyed it. Of course there were empty chairs at the table but in the end we were happy to be sharing this holiday with those of us still around.

When it comes to the topic of illness and dying at our table most of our conversations were lighthearted. Not long ago my brother stepped on a toothpick in his dorm room which plunged into the ball of his foot. He was sent to the emergency room when he attempted to pull it out and the outer half broke off, leaving the inner half in his foot. After much operating, the doctors could not get the toothpick out, and he was told it is to stay inside his foot forever. For a drumming performance major at music school who cannot use his left foot or walk at all this is some tragedy! Most of our conversation (which was full of laughter, mind you) was trying to solve the mystery of just how the friggen' thing got stuck up there! He and I tried to play ping pong afterward (we positioned him in a rolling chair that actually worked quite well), and being the skilled player that he is was still able to bat the ball around with finesse. Other than toothpick impalement, illness and dying was pretty much absent from the table conversation. It was a delightful Thanksgiving that will surely be remembered because of this silly incident, and I hope that illness and dying may stay out of the equation for some Thanksgivings to come.

HW 17- First Thoughts on Illness/Dying Unit

The subject of illness and dying is something that I unfortunately know very well. The way I was taught about illness and dying was very simple: we as humans have limited time on Earth and when our time is up, we die and disappear forever. Of course I was never told about the world of nightmarish suffering that is involved in one's death, and the fact that this time may come as soon as tomorrow, but unfortunately I found out the reality by what others may call the "hard way".

When my father was diagnosed with metastatic kidney cancer, I was still 13, and in positively no way did I understand the gravity of the situation. He apparently had it for as long as my life (at least), going undetected until he finally gave in to my mother's demands that he go in for a check-up. This brings up my first issue with the medical system: the doctors are so detached that they sometimes carelessly misdiagnose. My father, who was clearly ill and NOT doing well by any means was examined and sent home with high-blood pressure pills. Go figure.

Over the next nine months I never really felt like he was going to die. I knew it was possible somewhere in the back of my mind but I never came to terms with the idea that this could happen to MY father, a man who was well-liked by everyone and good-spirited. In fact, I will never be sure if he ever thought to himself that the so called "game was up" and that he was truly on the path to death. He had just begun a new art collection titled "Something Wonderful is Going to Happen" as if he were sure that the prophecy would hold water.

When I returned from a week at The Island School in Eleuthera, Bahamas, my mother was clearly troubled. I returned home to find my father in his worst state yet. When I had left for the Bahamas, he had been showing alarming signs of recovery, as if the battle were said and done and he had emerged the victor. Later I learned this was simply his "honeymoon with death", a term doctors use to describe a short grace period before one falls into a state of non-recovery. We had all been tricked. This was crushing in every sense of the word. For a moment something wonderful WAS going to happen, but it was just another deception- it was as if death were saying, "Haha! Good one right! You really thought you had a chance! There is no happy ending here."

In his final week of life I witnessed true suffering. My mother refused to allow him to fade away in a hospital because it felt cold and detached from what was important in his life: his art. I wondered how movies can so shamelessly portray illness in its final stages. Nothing is peaceful or attractive in this image. There is no sense of nobility, no sense of closure. People often think of advanced illness as pale skin, withered limbs and weak voice. This could not be any more false. What I witnessed in those final days was horrifying on levels I cannot even do justice to by simply typing words. In this end stage he could no longer speak, let alone eat or drink water. He was left tongue wagging, short spastic movements, falling in and out of consciousness and occasionally muttering indiscernible sounds. Part of me died that week. To watch him fight bravely for 9 months and then see him completely shattered and undone in such a short time was numbing. Nothing is majestic about illness. Having witnessed this however (my mom and I were the only ones who saw/cared for him in this end stage, absolutely no outsiders or other family) I believe it has had a huge influence on my point of view, and I often feel misunderstood by those who know me, but do not know about this moment of anguish I have gone through. I only hope that this unit can shed somewhat of a light toward those who have (thankfully) not gone through the same experience on what true illness and dying looks like.

And I realize that I probably wrote much more than I was supposed to on one subject, but please understand that this was not easy for me.

HW11- Final Food Project 1: Trick or Treat!

For my experiential project I conducted a food experiment on five 6th graders involving jelly beans. The experiment was a simulation of foraging for food in the wild, where one must use their senses of neophilia and neophobia to determine what is good and safe to eat. The setup involved a group of 5 Bean Boozled Jelly Belly jelly beans, the "source of food" the wild had to offer. I told each subject that they had 3 minutes to eat 3 of these jelly beans or else they were to starve to death. I also told them to describe to me what they thought each jelly bean tasted like as and after they were eating it. I let their honest reactions do the rest!

What I did NOT tell them was that the jelly beans would not necessarily be tasty, and even some of them could be downright offensive to their taste buds. Bean Boozled jelly beans have 10 flavors that could be considered among the best of the Jelly Belly line (which is what convinced them to participate in the first place), but there are also 10 different flavors, each one corresponding with a "good" flavor, that are downright nasty, varying from rotten egg to moldy cheese. So why is this so difficult? As seen in Michael Pollan's "The Omnivore's Dilemma", distinguishing safe and good foods in the wild from the harmful ones is a supremely difficult task. The catch with Bean Boozled is that there is absolutely no way one can distinguish the flavor of a jelly bean before actually ingesting it- they look completely identical. For the 5 jelly beans for each test, I always arranged it so there was one innocent, non-offensive looking jelly bean on one end (something with a color of light blue or creamy white), and two pairs of easily recognizable "good" Jelly Belly flavors. I myself did not know which ones were good or bad, who would get lucky or unlucky, so I sat back and watched nature determine their fates.

As each of the test subjects began their 3 minutes for survival I payed careful attention at what jelly bean they chose first, how they considered their options for the second jelly bean, how they tried to use their senses to determine what was safe, and how long it took for them to make decisions. I would be observing neophobia as they deliberated which food to pick next, and how hesitant they were to actually consume it. In addition, neophilia would occur when they decided to pick a completely different meal from the last, and especially with non-hesitance. At the end I would ask them to rate each meal they had from 1-10.

The first thing that became clear to me was that nobody would starve to death. Each of the 5 test subjects jumped into their hunt immediately, not even taking a second to consider their options. 4 out of 5 times shock was sent into their system as they realized they picked a raw deal. After several twitches and some prolonged chewing, they finally made their decisive move to chew another. Their reluctance to choose another and their fumbling of the remaining beans made it clear that their neophobia was taking effect. The lucky kid (who got a delicious chocolate pudding) savored her first meal and comfortably chose her second, a meal of a different color. All 5 of the subjects chose different types of flavors for their second meal in the wild, yet only two of them showed real hesitation, supporting neophilia. To my surprise nobody tried to dissect any of their second meal to determine its taste, yet even those who examined their selection more carefully still found their senses failing them. All 5 subjects failed to select delectable flavors for their second jelly bean, proving that no matter how keen their judgement or senses were, they did not have the capacity or care to identify their meal before diving in. Was it the urgent need to get the foul taste of the last meal out of their mouths? Was the one lucky girl just oblivious to the existence of foul-tasting meals in the wild? Or were they simply fending for their lives, in order to not starve to death? After carefully examining the footage, I believe it was a combination of the three. The third meal was a fight for some, with a clear relief at the finish line that they had not starved to death.

If I were to re-do this experiment I would probably lower the "starve to death" time limit to something like 1 or 2 minutes, because although the subjects showed conviction for their survival, nobody came close to the established time limit. In addition, I felt it was a huge disadvantage not having any of the "barf" flavored beans in the pack I bought for this experiment. That would have totally changed the game! Other than that, I felt this experiment was very successful in what I wanted to map- the psychological highs and lows involved in foraging food in the wild.

In the end, I learned that although we may not always like the foods we can find, the will to survive is too strong for one to simply give up. In addition, the human's ability to judge a meal's value and taste by pure instinct is simply not discernible enough to differentiate the harmful and offensive from the good. I noticed patterns in behavior, such as sudden twitches, and inexplicable belching as a result of these harmful foods, resulting in neophobia, an involuntary hesitation and reluctancy when approaching future meals. And although everyone at one time will experience these meals, they will immediately aim for a meal more familiar and seemingly harmless (such as the light blue or white jelly bean) that they recognize as less of a risk. These ideas are important to us because all of the time we are searching for meals, and even though most of us do not live in the wild, we all participate in a constant game of neophilia and neophobia that keeps us constantly going for variety and familiarity- foods we can trust, and foods we can no longer trust, our sense for adventure and variety, our fear for disease and disgust. But the most important idea of all is that these two elements of the mind, constantly playing a game of back and forth are the two reasons why we do not starve to death. Even for those in the unfortunate situation of having no edible foods at their dispense, it is likely that these influential mental mechanisms will convince them to consume something. In the end (and conveniently in the theme of halloween), neophilia and neophobia will keep humans in an everlasting game of trick-or-treat.

HW 12 Final Food Project 2 Outline

Selected thesis for argument 1: Many of our culture’s dominant social practices can be further investigated to reveal several nightmarish atrocities, and although many strive to deny and change current “normal” techniques, the overlords of industry make it nearly impossible for any

one person to make a difference.

Major argument/claim for FOOD: The food industry, while it offers many choices and varieties of products one can choose to consume for any meal at any time, is really run by a handful of corporate powerhouses that have power over the consumer, the producer and the government.

Supporting Claim 1: Food overlords (corporations) own most of the industry.

Evidence 1: Major food companies owning many franchises which are often mistaken for different producers

Evidence 2: Major spending by the corporate giants (advertising, sponsorship)

Evidence 3: Sheer amount of fast food establishments

Supporting Claim 2: Food overlords are untouchable.

Evidence 1: Failed lawsuits against McDonald's

Evidence 2: Competition and small family businesses being crushed

Evidence 3: Mass government subsidies

Hyperlinks to (4 major) sources:

-http://verticalresonator.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/mcdonalds-spent-23-cents-on-advertising-for-every-human-on-planet-earth-in-2001-marketing/

-http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1552662-Super-Size-Me

-http://www.mcspotlight.org/media/press/times_24sep96.html

-http://www.pcrm.org/magazine/gm07autumn/health_pork.html

HW 10- Food Inc. Response

Precis: The present day United States is ruled by the food overlords known as industrial corporations. Thanks to the government and subsidies, the food industry has become convoluted almost to a point where we can no longer turn back its negative effects on us, the economy and the environment. So why exactly do these few continue to dominate the food playing field even when we know its numerous horrific aspects? It's because as bad as our imagination can visualize the industrial food chain, we can never actually make first hand observations, and nobody knows better than the producers that people would cease to buy into their business if they saw the truth. In the end, the two things that can possibly create the most change is making the effort to eat healthier, and to change the government's agenda on food.

Because the book can only leave the reader with his imagination, the movie does a much better job at giving actual visual representation, providing the closest thing to first-hand observation we can get. And because one of the film's biggest agendas is to make it clear that if we were able to look into the slaughterhouses we would never support industry again, the use of hidden employee cameras is instrumental in getting that point across. In addition, the movie allows us to hear the tone of voice each author uses, making the connection between viewer and author a more intimate relationship than a book can offer. However, the book can fit a lot more content in 400 pages than a movie can in an hour and a half. This requires the filmmaker to select what in his opinion are the most important pieces of information, which is sort of like a precis.

One negative feeling that lingers in my mind after watching this movie is that I can't help but question the practicality of the suggestions that the movie gives immediately before the credits. Sure, those of us who care enough will make an individual effort to pursue these life changes, but I think most people will choose not to because they come to the conclusion that just one person or a small group cannot overthrow the empire that has been created by the government. I think what WOULD inspire people would be to make it clear that by following these suggestions, they would actually be joining a large group of people, even if they are not in their immediate proximity. So many of us are stubborn in that we like the way we have been living and don't want to give up things such as meat or McDonalds because they would be "missing out" on all of the comforts and convenience that come with industrial food while their friends and family continue to eat the way they do.

HW 7d- Omnivore's Dilemma part 4

Chapter 17: The Ethics of Eating Animals

Precis: As slaughterhouses and CAFO's continue to become more transparent to the general public, eating meat has become a centre for controversy. People are now questioning the ethics involved in such production of meat, which ultimately results in more vegetarians. A core reason for these converts is that we now have a better understanding of the animals' capacity for pain and suffering, but what these people do not consider is the inevitable necessity for the domestication and slaughter for animals. This mutual relationship has actually supported both cultures and although a "vegan utopia" is ideal to some, it is simply impractical. The best that corporations can do is increase transparency in their processing plants- to reassure and comfort consumers that the treatment of their dinner was quite humane during their short life.

Gems:

-"Half the dogs in America will receive Christmas presents this year, yet few of us pause to consider the life of the pig- an animal easily as intelligent as a dog- that becomes the Christmas ham."

-"Surely the suffering of a man able to comprehend the full implications of castration, to anticipate the event and contemplate its aftermath, represents an agony of a different order."

-"That fate is reserved for the American laying hen, who spends her brief span of days piled together with a half-dozen other hens in a wire cage the floor of which four pages of this book could carpet wall to wall."

-"This is another example of the cultural contradictions of capitalism- the tendency over time for the economic impulse to erode the moral underpinnings of society. Mercy toward the animals in our care is one such casualty."

Thoughts/insights:

-Although this chapter made a pretty strong case for giving up meat... I really don't see myself giving it up anytime soon, or anytime at all for that matter. Call me a speciesist, but I really must agree with the idea of it being a necessary evil. And a pleasurable one.

-Speaking of evils, I am wondering who or what represents the lead villain of this story. My lead suspect is capitalism as a whole, because it creates a dog-eat-dog environment where people who really shouldn't be cutting corners (such as the people in charge of what we ingest multiple times a day) do anyway for money. What good can money possibly be when you have Mad Cow?

Chapter 18: Hunting (The Meat)

Precis: Nothing could have possibly prepared me for my first outings as a beginner hunter. It took some tries and bouts of major concentration, but finally I managed to kill my first pig (or so I believe it was actually me who killed it). At first I felt like a champion, an overwhelming sense of pride that I had triumphed greatly, but as the food chain took its next steps- into the actual treatment and preparation, I felt horror and disgust of a higher degree than I ever had felt before. What at first felt like a great victory turned into a nightmare, and as I looked at myself posing with my "trophy" from the day's efforts I could not bring myself to accept that the hunter, with the glorious grin on his face could possibly be human, let alone me.

Gems:

-"...in many hunter-gatherer societies, the first portion of meat belongs not to the hunter who kills the animal but to the one to whom it first appeared. These pigs were mine."

-"Since the successful hunter often ends up with more meat than he or his family can eat before it spoils, it makes good sense for him to, in effect, bank the surplus in the bodies of other people, trading meat for obligations and future favors. Chimps will do the same thing."

-"I felt a wave of nausea begin to build in my gut. The clinical disinterest with which I had approached the whole process of cleaning my pig collapsed all at once: This was disgusting."

-"I felt as though I had stumbled on some stranger's pornography. I hurried my mouse to the corner of the image and clicked, closing it as quickly as I could. No one should ever see this."

-"Sun-soil-oak-pig-human: There it was, one of the food chains that have sustained life on earth for a million years made visible in a single frame, one uncluttered and most beautiful example of what is."

Thoughts/insights:

-Because of Mr. Pollan's mental reaction of horror and disgust toward the hunt, I have to wonder if the human has partially lost their primal stomach for such a simple food chain that has provided us with life for almost all of our existance.

-Adding on to that, what exactly has happened that turned us all into such wusses? Why be so freaked out about the killing and treating of one pig when there's a concentration camp doing that to thousands of pigs every day? Why aren't people so freaked out about the food they find on the supermarket shelves?

-Oh yeah, because they don't see it first hand.

-And what an accomplishment! The entire food chain of hunter can actually fit on a single photograph. Image a photograph that could sum up the industrial food chain! What's that? That's impossible? Pshaww!!

Chapter 19: Gathering (The Fungi)

Precis: Hunting and Gathering, two terms that are often paired together could not be more different from each other. Foraging for mushrooms in the wild, as I found out in my expeditions for chanterelle, has become an exclusive skill that for the most part leaves people on their own (for fear of telling others their "secret spot"). After many tries, I finally came to learn that in fact the proof is in the pudding and it takes a special mindset and motivation to successfully gather such fungi, let alone ones that are nontoxic to humans. Mushrooms, as mysterious as they are, happen to be one of the very few things left that are collected almost entirely in the wild for mainstream produce.

Gems:

-"Without fungi to break things down, the earth would long ago have suffocated beneath a blanket of organic matter created by plants; the dead would pile up without end, the carbon cycle would cease to function, and living things would run out of things to eat."

-""Mushroom frustration" is what you feel when everyone around you is seeing them and you're still blind- until, that is, you find your first, thereby breaking your "mushroom virginity.""

-"You can forage in the garden, in the way Adam and Eve presumably did, but there isn't much to it: no dilemmas, no hunting stories."

Thoughts/insights:

-Being someone who absolutely HATES mushrooms in my food, I can confidently say that this chapter did really make me want to give them another try (not)!

-I'm surprised at just how elitist people are when it comes to mushroom hunting. I'm pretty sure there are enough mushrooms around for everyone who wants to go hunting for them (a reasonably small amount of the earth's population).

-I really admire the idea that this kind of meal really gives something for nothing. But is it really nothing? What about the physical and mentally tasking activity it takes to harvest this much?

Chapter 20: The Perfect Meal

Precis: After hunting and gathering all of my various foods from the earth, it was finally time to compose a meal made entirely by me, entirely from ingredients I foraged as a celebration of the foods that nature provide us, omnivores with. It was more difficult than I ever could have anticipated, and I soon realized that such a meal is simply unrealistic as I was forced to cut corners on my own rules. What truly makes this the perfect meal above all others is not the taste, but the fact that the people who ate it had all collaborated in the orchestration of the meal in their own way, and everyone at the table could talk about where the meal came from and how the meal came to be from a first-person perspective. Impossible as it is to follow this food chain consistently for all of our meals, it truly sums up what we as human omnivores were meant to eat when mother nature placed us here, and it no doubt extinguishes the curse of the omnivore's dilemma.

Gems:

-"I suddenly felt perfectly okay about my pig- indeed, about the whole transaction between me and this animal that I'd killed two weeks earlier. Eating the pig, I understood, was the necessary closing act of that drama, and went some distance toward redeeming the whole play."

-"I went around the table and spoke of each person's contribution to my foraging education and to this meal that, though I had cooked most of it myself, was in the deepest sense of our collaboration."

-"The fact that just about all of those hands were at the table was the more rare and important thing, as was the fact that every single story about the food on that table could be told in the first person."

-"The meal was more ritual than realistic because it dwelled on such things, reminding us how very much nature offers to the omnivore, the forests as much as the fields, the oceans as much as the meadows. If I had to give this dinner a name, it would have to be the Omnivore's Thanksgiving."

Thoughts/insights:

-Enlightening. That's my one-word review for this book. Not only do I now know far more than I ever could have (or even should have), I can no longer look at food the same way, with the same comfort, or the same mindlessness that I have toward most things I take for granted. I thank you, Mr. Pollan, for enlightening me to the point where the Omnivore's Dilemma may no longer even be a problem!

-And on one comical note, I was laughing to death at his miserable attempts at gathering the abalone. What terribly funny conditions for hunting such a precious yet unusable (after a short amount of time) source of food.

HW 9- Freakonomics Response

This movie's got moves!

Perhaps the biggest "move" that the filmmakers of Freakonomics used was the technique of presenting data. Simply presenting statistics is helpful when one goes about making an argument, but the way the protagonists used humor and cartoon-like visuals made it particularly easy to get across. This way the viewer thinks, "well, if they can handle it with humor, it must be legitimate!"

Which brings me to the second greatest move they used, the use of skits. Reenacting real life situations and stories that helped better their arguments takes place of giving the viewers a first hand experience. If 'seeing is believing', then a viewer is sure to buy a premise that is faithfully recreated.

Finally, I believe the third strongest technique or "move" that the filmmakers used was the focus on specific subjects, such as the two students during the segment about getting paid for grades. This creates a more intimate experience between the viewer and the subject he is watching, because in this case the subject (for all intents and purposes) IS real! This will lead the viewer to believe one of two things: they wish they were getting paid for grades, or they are glad that they are not in their shoes.

Sources

It seemed to me that while many of the sources of information that the filmmakers of Freakonomics used were historical statistics accumulated over time, they for the most part (to me) leaned on the side of the "expert opinion and experience" sources such as life stories. The statistics certainly help (especially in "It's Not Always Such a Wonderful Life", where it was all about nuance), but I found my opinions to me molded toward what people were saying and the stories the filmmakers were telling. This was notably successful when one of the protagonists related to his daughter. This might just mean that I am gullible, but I just found the abstract more convincing than the hard numbers.

Freakonomics serves as an inspiration and good example to our attempt to explore the "hidden-in-plain-sight" weirdness of dominant social practices.

Absolutely! This picture took what I thought I knew, and brought a dynamic to several subjects that we all passively think about but never look into. As they brought up each segment, such as the one about paying students, I found myself to already have an opinion. This wasn't because I had open discussion with my peers about it beforehand, but simply because of my world views and what I consider acceptable. Many people, especially when it comes to the segment on names, are quick to judge, but never quick to analyze, which Freakonomics did elegantly. In much of the same way, very few of us delve deep into studying the habits and foodways of the United States people, but when the subject is brought up, most of us have things to say. Nothing about foodways seems weird on the outside, just like naming a child or a drop in crime rate, but when we study why things are the way they are and just how they got to be most of us have that special moment where nothing makes sense. This is what the filmmakers strive for, and in my humble opinion, they succeeded!

HW 7c- Omnivore's Dilemma part 3

Chapter 11: The Animals (Practicing Complexity)

Precis: Joel Salatin is not a slave to his animals, he is merely an orchestrator who lets the job get done by the ones most capable of doing it- the actual animals. In the eyes of this rare breed of farmer the animals are not simply a machine for the produce they give, but caregivers and nurturers toward the health of the other animals, and in turn, themselves. So why doesn't every farmer strive for what Salatin has? Because it not only takes real physical and mental input, but it simply does not net the profit nor efficiency that most industrial farmers live for. It takes innovation, a true passion for the message and belief that Joel and his father established, and other farmers today are simply too lazy and greedy to give something so "unconventional" (by today's standards) a try.

Gems:

-"Unfolding here before us, I realized, was a most impressive form of alchemy: cowpatties in the process of being transformed into exceptionally tasty eggs."

-"With the industrialization of agriculture, the simplifying process reached its logical extreme- in monoculture."

-"The idea is to not slavishly imitate nature, but to model a natural ecosystem in all its diversity and interdependence, one where all the species "fully express their physiological distinctiveness.""

-"...in one long, beautiful, and utterly convincing proof that in a world where grass can eat sunlight and food animals can eat grass, there is indeed a free lunch."

Thoughts/insights:

- The bit about the pig's tails was very disturbing to me. Beating a pig who had his tail cut off and didn't even know a good life to death? Ouch.

-Being a city person, I get incredibly uncomfortable with the outdoors... I think Joel Salatin might actually convince me that the farm life can be quite comfortable!

-Also, I envy those locals who get his food... why can't we get such tasty eggs or produce in the city? Wait... it's the city...

-I really admire Joel's philosophy and innovation toward his passion. His inventions of the eggmobile and the Gobbledy-Go show a passion and love for his profession that very few other farmers out there possess.

Chapter 12: Slaughter (In a Glass Abattoir)

Precis: Whether he likes it or not, Joel Salatin still must have his animals slaughtered. However, instead of shipping them out to let someone else perform this necessary evil, he decides that he not only thinks slaughtering his own chickens extends his own world view, but is a political statement and a guarantee to his consumers that the full cycle of the chicken on their plate was on his very farm. I didn't much enjoy my turn at slaughtering chickens, but in the long run it is far better than letting a pulverizer do the job, where all of the chicken's insides (which are important to remove) are reengineered to be fed to future chickens. In fact, Joel sees the leftover blood and guts as a trophy of satisfaction, that on his very land he sustained the full cycle from birth to death and decay.

Gems:

-"Joel had once told me he regarded the willingness of neighbors to work for a business as the true mark of its sustainability, that it operated on the proper scale socially and economically, as well as environmentally."

-"In a way, the most morally troubling thing about killing chickens is that after a while it is no longer morally troubling."

-"More than any USDA rule or regulation, this transparency is their best assurance that the meat they're buying has been humanely and cleanly processed."

-"Beyond the stench in my nostrils, the pile offered an inescapable reminder of all that eating chicken involves- the killing, the bleeding, the evisceration."

Thoughts/insights:

- I was waiting for this chapter! It may sound kind of sick but I think I would be one of those people who arrive early to watch what the process looks like.

- The process of removing the insides reminded me of all of the dissections we've had to do in the past few years. Both were with pigs, and identifying and carefully removing each organ was a very interesting and enlightening operation.

- I completely agree with Joel on that being able to watch your food slaughtered should be a constitutional right (although I am not sure how many people would actually take advantage of it), this would encourage less cruelty and more efficiency under the public eye.

Chapter 13- The Market (Greetings from the Non-Barcode People)

Precis: The greatest difference today between the consumer who buys into the Total Economy and the "non-barcode" people (as Joel Salatin calls them) is effort. Because food comes so easily and is so widely available, people simply do not give as much thought or care into perhaps the most vital of human needs when compared to buying a new car or finding an architect. These "bar-code" people play into the industrial economy's hand because of their need for instant gratification, which means that they can buy a tomato, for a bargain price any time of the year. Others, such as Joel Salatin's customers (whether they are parents or local chefs) are willing to pay a premium price for quality because it saves them when it comes to the cost of oil, water pollution and disease that are all in correlation with the industrial food chain.

Gems:

-"Already the desire on the part of consumers to put something different into their bodies has created an $11 billion market in organic food. That marketplace was built by consumers and farmers working informally together outside the system, with exactly no help from the government."

-"Whether Polyface's customers spend their food dollars here in Swoope or in the Whole Foods in Charlottesville will have a large bearing on whether this lovely valley- this undulating checkerboard of fields and forests- will endure, or whether the total economy will find a "higher use" for it."

-"We don't have to beat them. I'm not even sure we should try. We don't need a law against McDonald's or a law against slaughterhouse abuse- we ask for too much salvation by legislation. All we need to do is empower individuals with the right philosophy and the right information to opt out en masse."

-"The important thing is that there be multiple food chains, so that when any one of them fails- when the oil runs out, when mad cow or other food-borne diseases become epidemic, when the pesticides no longer work, when drought strikes and plagues come and soils blow away- we'll still have a way to feed ourselves."

Thoughts/insights:

-This is my favorite chapter so far. I think it really encompasses all of what I thought I knew about and really taught me more about each individual aspect.

-I was really moved by the idea that striking a balance between two entities brings out the worst of both worlds. Does this mean that we should all think black and white, that there is no gray? That there are no exceptions? Or can there be, but this simply is not the ideal?

-Although I was slightly insulted about Joel's saying "what good is New York City", he sure as hell has a point. There are no farms (ones that compare to Joel's or George's) on Manhattan Island, or ANY borough for that matter. We are extremely reliant on the interstate highway system!

Chapter 14: The Meal (Grass Fed)

Precis: As my week at the Polyface farm came to a close, it was time to fully experience the end of the pastoral food chain- the bite of a wonderfully juicy chicken and fabulously rich soufflé. I gathered ingredients from Joel's farm: chickens, eggs, corn, and concocted a meal to celebrate the chicken with friends of mine. All components of the meal were of a higher nutritional standard not only because of their lack of monoculturous breeding, but the benefits such as omega-3s and vitamin E that the chickens gained from being raised on a grass-centralized ecosystem.

Gems:

-"Both literally and metaphorically, a saltwater bath cleanses meat, which perhaps explains why the kosher laws- one culture's way of coming to terms with the killing and eating of animals- insist on the salting of meat."

-"Researchers report that pregnant women who receive supplements of omega-3s give birth to babies with higher IQs; children with diets low in omega-3s exhibit more behavioral and learning problems at school; and puppies eating diets high in omega-3s prove easier to train."

-"I offered thanks first to my hosts-cum-guests, then to Joel Salatin and his family for growing the food before us (and for giving it to us), and then finally to the chickens, who in one way or another had provided just about everything we were about to eat."

Thoughts/insights:

-This is a true parallel to the final chapter of the industrial food chain where his family eats at McDonald's. Instead of eating with his own family, he eats with another family and brings the food to them. In addition, there seemed to be a more connected dynamic between the diners during the grass fed meal than at the McDonald's. More of the conversation had to do with each other than the food itself.

-Also, it struck me that the diners were more curious and asked more questions about how the food was raised than anyone would at a fast food place- no questions asked.

Chapter 15: The Forager

Precis: Having already followed two of the major food chains from beginning to end, it was time for the ultimate challenge: composing a personal meal from foraged food in the wild. My prior experience and knowledge with hunting and gathering compared to the agricultural based childhood I had leaves me with a general sense of discomfort when it comes to the wild. Frankly, the idea of killing an animal not doomed to a life on a farm or identifying one mushroom for another gives me stress that ultimately sends me back to another food chain. However, as I think about this meal more and more, I begin to see the world around me with a different mentality, through a new lens, that points out the nuances of nature I had not fully appreciated before.

Gems:

-"The prevailing theory as to why, as a species, we left off hunting and gathering is that we had ruined that perfectly good lifestyle by overdoing it, killing off the megafauna on which we depended."

-"Foraging for wild plants and animals is, after all, the way human species has fed itself for 99 percent of its time on earth; this is precisely the food chain natural selection designed us for."

-"I realized that this had been the ultimate destination of the journey I'd been on since traveling to an Iowa cornfield: to look as far into the food chains that support us as I could look, and recover the fundamental biological realities that the complexities of modern industrialized eating keep from our view."

Thoughts/insights:

- I imagine that this would be the most difficult and effort-demanding food chain to sustain. It literally requires over 50% of the day to fulfill its needs.

- This really reminds me of "Into the Wild", the story of Christopher McCandless. He was able to maintain this meal for a good amount of time, but in the end he failed due to a minute, careless mistake- which is exactly what stopped Pollan from eating that mushroom!

- Did anyone else imagine the scene of him sitting in front of the mushroom and deliberating whether or not to eat it as a hilarious bit for a sitcom? I can imagine him sitting there nearly debating with the mushroom, asking if he'll hurt him.

Chapter 16: The Omnivore's Dilemma

Precis: In a world where human beings have the conscience to cook and have the freedom of selecting their meals and the setting it takes place in- we truly suffer from the omnivore's dilemma. Because us humans have brains that overcompensate for our small intestines, we suffer anxiety when choosing our meals because we always question ourselves, "is this the right choice?". America is perhaps the greatest culprit of them all, with its relative absence of standard foodways. When our senses collide with our conscience, and that collides with the fact that science has replaced instinct in our culture, the omnivore's dilemma turns what in some countries is a uniform meal into a mad house of contradictions, ultimately leading to an unhealthy community.

Gems:

-"What began as set of simple sensory responses to food (sweet, bitter, disgusting) we've elaborated into more complicated canons of taste that afford us aesthetic pleasures undreamed of by the koala or cow."

-Rousseau's passage on the omnivore's dilemma

-"That orthodoxy regards certain tasty foods as poisons (carbs now, fats then), failing to appreciate that how we eat, and even how we feel about eating, may in the end be just as important as what we eat."

Thoughts/insights:

-So when it comes to disgust, how are certain foods (for me, it's mushrooms) hardwired into our minds under this category? I don't like seafood, and I know that it can be good for me, but what makes me shudder whenever I come near it?

-Having a condition, I have learned what sort of foods to avoid at certain times, so I guess you could say this kind of eases the omnivore's dilemma off of my shoulders. However, because my case is mild, I will still spring to eat things I really love (like bacon).

-What HAS happened to the family dinner? Am I missing something here? When I raise a family the family dinner will ALWAYS be at the same table, and at he same time. Anything else kind of bugs me.