I'm back.

Yes. I'm back. Indeed. :)

HW36- Pregnancy and Birth Stories

NOTE: This is my final blog post (for now). I will not have internet access at any time in The Bahamas, so if you have any comments or feedback to THIS blog post (or any other for that matter), please send me a letter to the mailing address I've posted in the last post.

As I've stated before my mom had quite the different experiences when it came to giving birth to Josh and me. Before even giving birth, she had some initial problems. After the doctors noticed her blown-up legs and blood pressure, she was advised to be admitted in the hospital the next day. However, figuring that nothing serious was amiss, she went back home and spent the better part of the next day cleaning. When she finally decided it was time to go to the hospital, she was scorned by the doctors for showing up so late. Apparently it was one of those "emergency situations"; she was immediately strapped down to a table. At one distinct point she remembers a bunch of residents around her asking, "are you excited about having that baby tonight?", where she thought "I'm not having my baby tonight... I'm only 33 weeks in..." Needless to say it was an intense experience, Josh being born by cesarian-section and pre-mature at the same time. Josh's heart rate had at one point dropped quite significantly, and the effect of the birth on my mom was disastrous. She was forced to fast (with the exception of the rare ice chip for hydration) for two days, and was made to stay in the hospital for a grand total of 10 days to recover.

In hindsight, this was obviously a scarring experience. The fact that the birth not only nearly cost her life but the baby's affected her both physically and emotionally, and I can see why it would have. To go through all of the pain, to have the chance of regret (by not going to the hospital sooner), to have survived the odds, I would have certainly changed as well. Exactly how she changed, I am not certain of. I would imagine that the experience is part of the reason (either that or my parents had a moment of genius, or both) that she waited 5 years to give birth (to me) again. Also I could totally see her cleaning the house when she's literally about to give birth- the quintessential image of mom (sorry mom, :) I am only kidding of course).

In contrast, my birth was fairly easy and simple compared to Josh's... though it wasn't a walk in the park (or a cleaning of the house). My mom was now 42, which made the doctors fairly wary due to her past birth experiences. Josh, who was now 5 was also feeling quite sick (and would go on to throw up all over the bed). At the hospital, many of the pregnant women (including my mom) were given a certain drug to speed up the process of the birth. The intention of said drug was to make sure my mom did not go past her due date, and to avoid complications. However, much to everyone's surprise, only an hour after being given the drug many of the patients went into labor. Shortly thereafter, my mom went into labor herself! This effect that the drug had was not expected, and the quiet birth ward soon became a ballet of moving beds and a symphony of shrieks. The birth itself was everything BUT her first experience, a straightforward, standard giving of life.

From what I know, this particular experience pretty much undid the nervousness and overall emotional damage created by Josh's birth. I could imagine how frightened my mom was before delivering me, thinking about all of the tragic possibilities she was so lucky to evade the first time around. I guess I should be happy that nothing DID go wrong!! I should also take this time to thank you, mom. When it comes to the time spacing between Josh and I, I really do think 5 years is the perfect difference. I feel like (and this could turn into its own separate post entirely) only children really do miss out on something by not having a brother or sister, and unfortunately most of the time when there ARE siblings there is tension and competition. However, when there is a good amount of time between the two (4-6 years is best IMO), there is not really ever competition because they will almost never be in the same school, and mostly interested in other things. That being said, the older one usually takes on a leadership role for the younger, and the two will still have the close relationship that siblings have.

My aunt K had very different birth experiences. Having already gone through a miscarriage, she had experience in the less forgiving side of birth. When she gave birth to my cousin D, however, it was a very different outcome. Having already gone into labor, my aunt insisted that rather than be taken to the hospital, she be taken to her personal doctor for a check-up. The poor police officers didn't exactly know what to do, but eventually they did as she ordered, and took her to her doctor. Well what do you know! The doctor said she should go right to the hospital! And so she flagged down a taxi and drove to the hospital. It turns out that she arrived in the nick of time, giving birth immediately after arriving. Other than this anecdote... there were no complications.

Of all three birth stories this one seems to me like the one we all imagine, the one we see in the movies and read in the books. Nothing in particular went wrong, but it seemed like there were moments of drama and anticipation that all "normal" births seem to have in our dominant society. Furthermore, like my mom's giving of birth to me, it seems to have undone whatever trauma was created by the first experience.

If I were here, I'd really like to know what stigmas there are associated with birth, and perhaps more specifically, what/why stigmas apply to teen births/pregnancies.

Farewell. And Mailing Address!

I would just like to formally say goodbye here on my blog. I want to thank all of you guys who have read my blog, left feedback or just supported me in general. I really appreciate each and every one of you, even if you didn't make it a thing to leave comments. Andy, of all the things I will be leaving behind here, your class under the fluorescent lights in that cave of yours will be genuinely missed. I will miss all of you, and take the memory of you all with me. I am sure that I will return with all kinds of stories to tell and a tan that will put you all to shame. :D

Seriously though, I will miss reading all of your blogs, and please, PLEASE feel free to send me letters or updates on the class, or just to say hi. Below I've included the mailing address for The Island School... there is one discrepancy however- they don't accept packages. So please keep stuff in a nice neat envelope. Oh and also make it clear that the letter is meant for me. Like put my name on it. :)

The Island School
C/O Twin Air
3406 S.W. 9th Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33315

HW35- Other People's Perspectives

Teenagers are crazy, curious beings in our society. Vastly opinionated and emotionally driven to places and fantasies we can only imagine, we are most certainly. Thus we arrive at the subject of birth, a moment of life that turns the pages of time and carves our lineage onto the very bark of the family tree. Us adolescents, similarly to death, are mostly unfamiliar with the phenomenon, and can only rely on the audio and video that plays in our heads. These visuals we imagine come mostly from two sources, one primary and one secondary: as teenagers we have all (for the most part) heard our "birth" stories, and as teenagers we have all (for the most part) have watched taped "births" in the classroom or in the movies. While these media can serve as a basic tool to familiarize ourselves with the sensation that is birth, none can hold a candle to the actual thing, and in contrast to the cartoonish, comic-like portrayal of birth we see in the movies, the real deal is incomparable.

In my interviews of my peers I found that for the most part we all imagine how we'd like our experiences (or non-experiences) of birth to be, but that nobody knows what to really expect. I noticed that great respect and recognition was given to the role of the woman, such as when Henry Guss told me, "Men don't have to shoot an 8-point idiotic brat out of their vagina." Clearly the role of the woman in a birth is a challenge, as Lawrence Wong stated "women are willing to go through much pain to have children, this means love." When it comes to the dominant fears I saw in my interviewees on birth, the general consensus was that the worst case scenario would be the death of the child or the mother, or both. I find this really interesting because it seems like individually, birth and death can both be seen as beautiful things... but when combined it is a horrifying scene to behold.

My first interview was with Bianca Chiu. I have decided to talk about this interview specifically in its own paragraph because according to the two male interviewees, the woman's role and experience is more important than that of men. And also because she said some particularly interesting things! The first and perhaps most striking statement that she made was that pregnancy itself is often overlooked... AND underlooked at the same time. "A lot of times pregnancy is over-thought, such as how to use guys or books to their maximum usage," she stated, and I thought about how easily one's experience can be influenced by resources inspired by other births. It goes to show how intertwined women's experiences are in general when it comes to birth, and how we all make connections and give credibility to those who have already gone through such experiences. On the other hand, according to Bianca, the process can also be grossly underlooked and even under-appreciated when we divert our attention too far from the life inside ourselves. Another interesting point regarding stigmas that she brought up was the significance of stretch marks. In the eyes of one, stretch marks can be viewed as a gross, embarrassing artifact of the pain and less-glorious aspects of the birthing process. In the eyes of another, these marks serve as "battle wounds", something to be honored and prized as a symbol of life, bravery and heroism. As a male, I don't know what I would think about stretch marks in the woman's shoes, but I guess I would say I would be happy to be reminded of my accomplishment.

All in all, I found that us "wild" and hormonally driven teenagers can be quick to spit out opinions and generalizations about birth, but when we grab the thought bubbles by the throat and dig within, we simply cannot get past a certain wall of uncertainty, where we can only speculate. In reality, not many of us can really personally connect to birth other than our own beginnings... but realistically how much of that can we faithfully remember or connect to? Personally, before and after the interviews I knew the answer: NONE of it. When we relay our "birth stories" in our minds, we don't see the events as they happened, instead we see an abstract illustration of what we've been lead to believe by cartoony representations. We are an ambitious generation, and we have grand visions of what we would like to see in our own stories. All that can be said is all that can be seen, and we have yet to see or hear "birth" with our thinking caps on.

HW34- Some Initial Thoughts on Birth

In contrast to the former Illness and Dying unit, in which I had many connections and stories to tell and things to say, I know absolutely nothing about birth. I have never given birth, nor have I ever caused anyone else to give birth (not that I know of at least). In any case, I am disappointed that I won't be here for the unit, especially because Andy says this is his favorite one to teach and also because I feel like this is new territory. I really WANT to know about birth and its intricacies and controversies, so hopefully one day I will fully understand the significance and symbolism of such a monumental chapter in life, and maybe one day know what it means to be a father. I've heard stories about my own birth (and my brother's), and from what I've heard, it's a very stressful and invigorating experience. I also got a sense of how different two births can be, and what can go wrong in the process.

When my mother had my brother (this could be the start of a really cool rap but I digress...) she had one of the hands down worst experiences of her life. Josh was premature, AND needed to be given birth by c-section. In addition, my mom was not expected to survive the ordeal (which is a frightening thought to me... where would I be?) and was pretty much scarred from the experience. HOWEVER... 5 years later when she had me everything played out nicely, and this positive experience changed her attitude entirely, calming her down. Needless to say we both turned out perfectly fine (generally) and grew up to be talented and well-doing kids.

Obviously I have many questions about birth, . Probably the most general of questions would be, 'what does it feel like to give birth?', as in what will I feel when I become a father? Will there be this big swirl of emotion and crashing waves of joy? Will I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders at a sudden moment? Will I have one of those moments where I look around and don't understand anything? Will I cry? Will I laugh? Will I be there? My next major question is what do imagine my child to be like? I think one of the major topics of interest we will explore this unit will be how people have this fetish for making their children 'perfect' or 'just like me', when there are unfortunate stories of how families, relationships and lives can be destroyed when a deformed or disabled child is birthed. I am very interested in this particular aspect, especially because we neglected to investigate mental illness in the last unit.

One more thing (for my thinking/writing team).

It appears I will not have ANY computer access in the Bahamas. I am dearly interested in this unit, and It would be AWESOME if one of you guys could send me letters summarizing what we covered in class. I would really appreciate it, because even in a tropical paradise I really don't want to miss this, and I'm sure Andy would count it as part of Open Honors or something. Kc or Eloise (or anyone who wants to for that matter), if you are interested please talk to me and I can give you a mailing address.

HW33- Closing I&D Comments

My comment on Casey's HW32-

lol with the formatting, not sure what happened there :P

Excellent job connecting the unit with the "Invisible hand", a term that wasn't uttered once in the last month! And you are completely right! The conservatives (the ones who have the military preferred view you cited) have this fetish with military spending so they can pulverize other nations and act as the "tough guy" while behind their backs our OWN people are withering away.

I wish it were as easy as spending in the right places, and maybe this IS the most practical way of doing things in our current situation. But I think overall we need a reassessment of what our biggest enemy is: sickness (and not the spending fetish kind, the physical and sometimes mental (which was surprisingly hardly discussed at all this unit... parenthesis in parenthesis ftw...) kind). People are acting as if money is all what has kept us advancing in science... when it's really only ALLOWING us to continue (because money has "stuff" value)- the KNOWLEDGE has been with us all along. If it weren't for corruption and research was free to do... we probably would be much further along.

Great post to cap off an awesome blog for this unit!
Evan

My comment on Eloise's HW32-

My goodness! I almost forgot about you Eloise! Sorry xD

You have some really strong ideas here (the structures of power Andy mentioned, game of fighting evils, neutrality, etc.) but your overall post seems like it was cut short! I would have really liked to read your thoughts on certain examples or more in-depth explanations (you deal a ton of absolutes in this post, before you make such statements you should dig deep). Anywho, your ideas themselves are concrete, and the whole thing was articulated well for the short length of the post- though it left me wanting more.

I look forward to reading you blog in the next unit (for the short time that I'll actually be here...),

Evan

Casey's comment on MY HW32-

Evan,
Your post raised some interesting questions. Why do you say that "When man is dropped into a world where time is limited..he brings suffering and doom upon the weaker population out of fear, not hatred." Who embodies the weaker population? What evidence from the unit led you to this idea of fear vs. hatred? You're first paragraph contains much potential for being very meaningful to the reader, but I do not completely understand your reasoning behind your insights.
My favorite sentence was "In a sense we all contribute to how the world turns out to be each and every day" because this knowledge is not only interesting and potentially encouraging, but also an inspiration for acting in a way that will benefit the world.

Eloise's comment on MY HW32-

Mom's comment on MY HW32-

I think what you meant by your opening is that what man fears most is death, and that man has the capacity for great cruelty when he feels his existence or well-being is threatened; I quite agree. I loved the way you expounded on the way each of us affects all of us. And I particularly loved the reference to music and poetry as some of the conveyors with which we transfer our knowledge, our feelings, linking the whole of humanity through generations and time. Mom

Aaron's comment on MY HW32-

I AM SO SORRY FOR POSTING THIS SO LATE! I didn't get your text message till today! I will try my best to never let this happen. Sorry if it is too late to comment! Anyway, the quote "People are acting as if money is all what has kept us advancing in science... when it's really only ALLOWING us to continue (because money has "stuff" value)- the KNOWLEDGE has been with us all along. If it weren't for corruption and research was free to do... we probably would be much further along." stands out to me. It shows that we aren't fully using all what we have. We have the money to advance in science, but not everything needs money. I agree we could get much more research for science if it didn't have a cost.

HW 32- Thoughts following Illness & Dying Unit

After months of studying the dominant social practice(s) on illness and dying, I've come to the conclusion that no matter what approach we have to avoiding death, we are always fighting the "long defeat" (in the words of Dr. Paul Farmer), and that when man is dropped into a world where his time is limited and his brothers and sisters are falling around him, he brings suffering and doom upon the weaker population out of fear, not hatred. It is obvious that nobody wants to die, because we find much beauty and grace in the world around us. However, humans can be very clever beings, and sometimes they will reason to lead others to their demise in order to save their own skin. Why though, would they do this when they realize the irony of their situation? It is because humans are also capable of detachment, and incapable of fully understanding another's point of view.

Although we can try to make death less painful through the idea of religion and process of home hospice, it remains a nightmare because it is the essential unknown. Nobody can or ever will know the meaning or purpose or follow-up to death, and as much as us rational thinkers can try to deduce a theory or comfort ourselves with ideas such as "everything happens for a reason" or "this is only the beginning of the journey" no one person has more credibility on the subject than another. What we DO know for sure though, is that we possess the ability to make a difference beyond our time, creating a "rippling" effect by changing the lives and accompanying the journeys of our children, grandchildren, friends, acquaintances and even enemies, which in many ways CAN make us live on forever. We will live on in the songs sung by the future, the poems written beyond our time, the discoveries that wait ahead- in a sense we ALL contribute to how the world turns out to be each and every day. One day generations hundreds of years into the future will look back and say, "Thank you Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandpa Evan, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here today."

HW 32- Culminating Comments Collection!

MY comment on Casey's HW 30:

Excellent post and survey to go with a great presentation! I thought it was really funny that guys are more afraid of death before being able to leave their mark, because it's true!! However I only think most of us (including myself) are very competitive, while there are some exceptions. The same goes for females (but reversed).

Best passage to me was,

" I learned from this project that teenaged males are probably more afraid of death than teenaged females are, and thus live in more misery. This conclusion is based on the assumption that Epicurus was right when he said that the ultimate cause of misery is the fear of death and the desire for immortality"

HOWEVER- I am not sure you are in a place to deal such an absolute about males living with more misery. You touch on this a little bit about the survey being on such a small scale but I would not go on to make this level of judgement quite yet. Also, I was somewhat disappointed at the abruptness of the ending of the post- I was looking for that one really, beautiful closer but I never got it.

Excellent work,
Evan

MY comment on Eloise's HW 30:

Eloise,

WOOOOAAHH!!!! You really went all out on this one! :)

You begin with a very heart-throbbing tale that I am sure was difficult and took much bravery to write. Then you go on to explain in detail a very interesting idea about 'how what is deemed important' and by whom, which directly challenged the dominant social practice of leaving fate and decisions in the hands of doctors.

Then the third paragraph. Or I should say the BEST paragraph! You bring an onslaught of insights and claims (which are backed up with excellent evidence) forth and the entire idea of the separation of the physical, social and emotional elements is a very interesting one. There are so many quotable parts in this paragraph, that I simply cannot choose any single one to highlight, so I will just go ahead and say pretty much EVERYTHING in that paragraph was the best.

The focus on arts and yoga in the hospital environment was very significant to me personally, having worked on art with hospice patients over many years. I wish you could've gotten to this in more detail in your presentation! Your narrative on Sandra was also engaging and kept me invested, and you conclude nicely.

If there's any room for improvement, I guess it'd just be to trim the less excellent writing from the already outstanding stuff. I can see you put a lot of effort into this, and if you perhaps kept everything a bit shorter (almost a precis of each paragraph but not quite as short), you'd have a very strong, short post that wouldn't take 30 minutes to read :)

Evan

Eloise's comment on MY HW 30:

ok I am going to start with the negative and leave on a positive note.
I don't think you answered your own question as to why we want to live to a 100, or at least did not make it clear.

"I found it particularly interesting that something as simple as a sense of purpose could be considered a virtual life-extender, especially considering just how direct the other factors are toward maintaining health (keeping active, staying stress-free, being well supplied with care, a fixed diet, etc.)."I thought that this one of the most insightful quotes because you seem to sum up what makes a optimal life. I think you could have expanded on this point and make it stronger by relating to how this could be an effect of the social practices and if this is seen in our culture.

Mom's comment on MY HW 30:

I learned a few interesting tidbits of how different cultures honor this milestone, and I am glad to hear my mother is bullish about living to be 100, to see how her grandchildren turn out. But I wish that there had been more depth to this blog entry and to the interview. I think it's nice, but not all that surprising (or interesting) to ask people if they want to live to be 100 and how they get there (good diet, spirituality, etc.). I think it would have been more interesting to ask how people at the 'midway' point of life feel knowing that they are closer to death than birth; how we view our own mortality and to what lengths we would be willing to go to stay alive (and ultimately, DNR or no DNR); if we would really want immortality if we could have it, and the ramifications both personally and as a society if there were such a thing; and more realistically, the ramifications of an ever-growing aged population due to the 'miracles' of science.

Aaron's comment on MY HW 30:

"In the end, whether it be the result of genetics or technique, men and women around the world continue to walk on the stones of years, effectively evading the least common denominator that has and will always catch us all: illness and death." This quote shows how you took a simple question about age and allowed it to connect to everyone from a elder in their 80s to a child. You show how we all must face death. From even just learning how to walk to lying down ill in a hospital, this question can relate to me, you, and anyone else. You show how we all can't be 100 yet we can all relate to it.

Casey's comment on MY HW 30...

Evan,
First of all, I laughed out loud at the two comments above :p
Second of all, I agree with Eloise about you answering your questions; your post was full of interesting ideas about perspective of death, and selflessness with age. (I especially enjoyed your metaphor in "In the end, whether it be the result of genetics or technique, men and women around the world continue to walk on the stones of years, effectively evading the least common denominator that has and will always catch us all: illness and death.") Although lovely to read and visualize, it still did not answer your question of the meaning and appeal of living to be 100.
Additionally, I recommend changing your introductory sentences; I know that you were trying to tie the reader in and be interesting, but truly, does EVERYONE want to live to be 100? is it really a dream commonly shared by ALL? Be careful with gross generalizations.

HW 30- What it means to be 100 years old

For the culminating experiential project of our illness and dying unit I decided to look at what is often referred to as dream commonly shared by all: becoming a century old. Whenever you ask someone how long they wish to live, they will nearly always tell you "at least to 100". I asked myself what was so appealing and meaningful about this milestone everybody holds at such a high standard. Was it the fact that they took care of themselves well? Or could it simply have been the work of good genes? Is there some defining difference in life success that age 99 couldn't bring? I decided to do extensive research on the insights and information of those who have lived to 100 and beyond, and what it really means for them to have reached this accomplishment. As for my experiential step, I decided to interview my grandma (currently 81) years old on the thought and meaning of dying, how she would like her dying to be handled and what it would mean to her to reach the 100 year milestone.

The first area of interest I explored was what dominant social practices and views are attributed with "centenarians". Through my research (primarily internet due to lack of time and specific resources) I found that there are many traditions that celebrate centenarians, and even super centenarians (those who live to 110+). Since 1983, NBC's Today Show has announced and wished a happy 100th birthday to anyone who reaches the milestone, and in the United States it is a tradition that new centenarians receive a letter of congratulations from the president. Similarly, in the UK the Queen addresses their achievement through a personal letter, and those who reach 100 in Japan receive a silver cup in addition to recognition. Some countries, such as Ireland, even pay those who survive long enough as a reward for reaching 100 years of age (Irish Times)! When it comes to other popular culture mentions, the Swedish birthday song wishes the person, "...may you live for a hundred years," (Scandinavius) and Judaism has the common phrase "may you live to be 120 years old." It is clear to me that this number for some reason is given the utmost significance, as if the moment we reach 100 years the clouds will part, the sun will shine, and all shall be fine. Of course it means quite the opposite, marking another year closer to a surprisingly long delay of the inevitable: illness and eventual dying.

Because everyone seems to have this goal, I next searched for trends and patterns in those who HAVE been able to stave off illness and death for a century- who better to learn from than those who have spat in the face of time? I found one particularly interesting summarization of a trend in centenarians in Okinawa, Japan (This was surmised by John Santrock in his book "A Topical Approach to Life-Span Development). Five major factors were found to be shared among Okinawan centenarians, ranging from diet to spirituality. I found it particularly interesting that something as simple as a sense of purpose could be considered a virtual life-extender, especially considering just how direct the other factors are toward maintaining health (keeping active, staying stress-free, being well supplied with care, a fixed diet, etc.).

Finally, I decided to take what I had learned from my research and class to construct a series of meaningful questions for an interview. In the hot-seat was none other than my grandma Jane, and at 81 years old she remains confident that one day she will join the fabled "100 club". My first question was if she was afraid of dying, which was followed by an immediate "yes". When I asked how she could be afraid of something like death she told me that she didn't know how to explain such fear. She is afraid of never "being" anymore, almost as if she had never existed in the first place. Later on in the interview she would extinguish this fear by realizing she had been taking part in a great ripple effect all along- her children, grandchildren and overall lineage would not be as they are today if not for her doing. To Jane, being dead means that you no longer exist in the real world as a physical being, but rather as an effect on those who continue to "be" even after one's departure. However, this doesn't necessarily make her feel better about dying, because to her reaching 100 years of age would mean she gets to see how her grandchildren's lives turn out, and continue to play a role in their "journey". She wants to continue to play this active role, and live to at least 100, maybe even more as long as she in "not in pain or have alzheimer's".

Perhaps the last question was most touchy- when the unfortunate time comes, how would she like her dying to be handled? If she were suffering and saw imminent doom ahead of her, would she resort to the hospital for one last glimmer of hope? Or would she accept what has to be accepted and make her last moments meaningful ones not only for herself but for her family? Naturally, she chose to die at home, surrounded by her family. It seemed to me that by all of her responses, nearly all of her drive to live on for the next 19+ years is not for the benefit and preservation of herself, but for the well-being and care for her family. Perhaps after 81 years of life and seeing most of your friends fall ill before you, one comes to realize that what's more important at this stage of the game is how you create a ripple effect on future generations, not how you plan on being "invincible" for the sake of avoiding the emptiness and the nothing that is death.

Maybe the greatest lesson here is that at one point in life (usually the one we are all in right now as teenagers) we all see ourselves standing on the summit of time that is 100 years of life, but for the enjoyment and sake of ourselves. However, one day (usually around Jane's age) we see our bodies begin to succumb to the toll of time, and rather than live for our own sakes, we go on for our brothers, sisters, children and grandchildren, pursuing a different kind of richness- having an effect on our continuing loved ones. In the end, whether it be the result of genetics or technique, men and women around the world continue to walk on the stones of years, effectively evading the least common denominator that has and will always catch us all: illness and death.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centenarian

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2006/0328/breaking61.htm

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=sv&u=http://www.scandinavius.com/sweden/sesongs.html&ei=I38yTcOQC4O78gb0iYnVCA&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ7gEwAA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dswedish%2Bbirthday%2Bsong%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den%26prmd%3Divns

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T38-40NMTCR-B&_user=10&_coverDate=04%2F15%2F2000&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_origin=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=b700f6df21d3b04197a013d03eaa1279&searchtype=a

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2194078/Blood-tests-could-be-used-to-predict-lifespan.html

HW 29- Reading and Noting Basic Materials

For this homework I have decided to structure my three "domains" by the triforce. For those of you who do not know what the triforce is, it is made up of the three elements of Power, Wisdom and Courage.

POWER:

When it comes to illness and dying (in mainstream U.S. and/or western civilization in general) the power is really in the hands of those who decide who gets medical care and who does not. As seen in Michael Moore's "Sicko", several (roughly 50) million people in the United States do not have medical coverage. Of those millions a vast majority suffer from not being able to receive proper care when it is needed most. There are examples of those who have sustained serious injury, developed advanced disease and still they are denied the treatment and care they require to continue to function. The main interest here is money. Insurance companies want to profit over the illnesses and deaths of patients, and doctors expect to be paid well for their treatment of said patients. Doctors pay a lot to be expertly trained with the highest tech equipment, and after the Great Depression medical bills started to become higher than a month's salary. (Sick, 6)

On the other hand, my father didn't have to pay AT ALL for his treatment during the time he was terminally ill. But in retrospect, making us pay would've added insult to injury. We were lied to and lost in the shuffle because of the insurance company's errors, and by the time they had "come to his rescue" it was FAR little WAY too late. In the end, insurance companies possess this power to deny sick people coverage, continually playing puppet master to the doctors and agents who are paid and professed to save lives, not a quick buck.

WISDOM:

When one becomes sick without the breath of death in their face, they have quite a few options. It takes the wisdom and judgement to be able to determine an individual's situation and immediate needs, which can be instrumental in one's fate. For example, when my brother stepped on a toothpick that got lodged up his foot a couple of months ago, it was clear he needed serious medical attention, so he and his friend traveled to the emergency room. If he were able to pull the entire toothpick out, however, he might have dealt with the situation differently. This is a clear example of turning to the allopathic side of the treatment spectrum. Can he completely trust the doctors? Maybe not, given that there's a possibility of serious repercussions (nerve damage) as a result of the doctors slicing his foot open. Now he somewhat regrets going directly to the emergency room, which in the end let him out no better than he started.

In MY case with my trip to the emergency room, wisdom might have saved my life- that is if I DID have appendicitis. When my lower abdominal area felt like it had been struck by a truck, I turned to homeopathic and holistic methods of making the pain disappear first. I tried to eat, drink tea, go to the bathroom, massage my belly and sleep. When none of this worked and I felt like vomiting my brains out I decided it was time to put my fate into the hands of the allopathic system. The irony of it all of course, was that not only did I NOT have a serious problem- but not even the acclaimed doctors and specialists could determine what struck me that fateful day. Everyone in the hospital had the utmost confidence in my having appendicitis, and they were all proven wrong. If I DID have it though, they said I would have been in grave danger judging by my pain and crohn's disease. When I interviewed my mom for an earlier HW, she said she thought the spirit and methods of holistic treatment were wonderful and sometimes even triumphant- but it would be foolish to shun allopathic ways completely. She must be right, because out of the three personal accounts of illness mentioned above, my father was the only one whose illness defeated them, and he was the only one who refused to see a doctor.

COURAGE:

Knowing that you have a terminal illness and are going to die is probably the hardest truth one can come to accept. It takes the utmost bravery to say to yourself, "this is it, I am going to die", and even moreso to continue to fight your mortal enemy: cancer. My father never acknowledged the fact or even possibility that he would die... out loud at least. He never collapsed or got depressed by his predicament, and continued to work on his art and support my brother and me as his sons. To the patient, this feeling must be head-spinning and crushing at the same time. One must ask themselves, "how will it feel to die? what does it mean to be dead?" For the family it is even more painful, watching your loved one, the one who cared for you since your very first waking moment to crumble before your eyes and to have no control over it.

My father was treated much differently in his time of illness, and he treated people differently as well. Much of the tension that had built up between my dad and my mom's side of the family had dissipated, and my family treated him with the greatest of respects for his level of courage and without any of the stigma that usually comes with illness. He continued to try and play tennis with us, and even placed 3rd in our annual mini-golf family tournament (out of us 20 other players!). When WE as a family decided that there was absolutely no chance of his recovery (in this case he had SO much courage he would never outwardly come to this conclusion), we decided to take him home for the last time and allow him to let go when the time came, surrounded by his artwork and the environment he flourished in. It wasn't as apparent to me at the time, but I now realize a lot of people do home hospice (to a lesser extent however, we never had doctors or any outsides come out save the buddhist monk). (...And a Time For Dying)

HW28 Comments!!!

From Aaron on HW27:

Sorry for commenting a little late! I forgot my password and had to enter a new one.
The quote "This has been a crushing blow to him. For someone who is extremely active, beyond the drum kit to the tennis courts and ping pong tables and swimming pools etc., to even think about the possibility of never having full use of you foot is astronomically depressing." stands out to me because it shows how hard life is for you and your family. It showed how your brother must have been strong facing against his disability. It also shows how much you care about your family and how you can even feel their pain. For you and your family to face this really shows how strong and close you guys are.

From Casey on HW27:

Evan,
I hope a solution is found for your brother's predicament! What a horrible situation...It's heart wrenching and horrifying how once humorous issues can quickly turn into future-hindering conflicts. I enjoyed your line, "Bangs on cans with conviction." The lyricism and alliteration made it stand out, and showed your brother's can-banging in a positive light.

From Eloise on HW27:

I believe this is great insight to an odd predicament. The harsh reality that health care is not the only solution, and many times with even all our medical knowladge simple maladies cause great harm. It is sad to hear this but he should be greatful that he at least has the opertunity to have someone tell him they don't know what to do verus... we dont know how to help you without you giving up some cash. I wish you would have exmplified with more lucidity and strength what the dominant social practices seen here are ? My favorite line was "t is extremely upsetting to him and everyone around him that the medical system has yet again continued to fail our family (in addition to the fact that they couldn't even identify MY problem when I went to the ER a short time ago)." I think it got to the center of the issues of how someones injury affected you and all around you. This could have been improved by expanding on a wider scale as aforementioned..

From Mom on HW27:

Well, having been a participant in the aftermath of this freak accident, spending the last couple of weeks accompanying Josh to specialists and through a battery of tests, I have seen, first-hand, the pluses and minuses of our medical system once again. However, I think you were a bit harsh in saying that it failed us again. Medicine is an art as well as a science and it is not always possible to correctly diagnose or treat our complex body systems. In fact, I felt that everyone bent over backwards to try to help.

I think the best part of your blog posting was your sympathy for your brother, your understanding of just what is at stake for his career and for him as an active person: "For someone who is extremely active, beyond the drum kit to the tennis courts and ping pong tables and swimming pools etc., to even think about the possibility of never having full use of your foot is astronomically depressing." I also thought it was a good connection (and sweet) that you thought to acknowledge that his relationship with dad was even closer than yours: "Keep in mind that he went through almost everything I did with my father, even moreso being that he was my brother's best friend and closest companion." That is a very honest and generous observation.

In the end, I am optimistic as you are that Josh will beat this, and I love how you showed him making proverbial lemonade out of lemons: "he... continues to write some kickass music in the meantime!" Happily, he has begun to tentatively walk in the last couple of days, powered by sheer will. In this determined way, you two are very much brothers, and very much the sons of your father (and mother).

Comment on Casey's HW27:

Casey,

Awesome post here. I see many parallels between your uncle and my father! They both thought they were invincible, did the most to avoid being in the hands of doctors and suffered for it. You are absolutely right about this 'invincibility complex' that we all share, and as for the best line, I have to agree with Eloise with

"I realized that such an attitude can be found in most people, whether revealed by an 11 year old boy jay walking, a high school freshman smoking cigarettes, a college student forgoing a condom, an obese middle aged woman watching television all day instead of going to the gym, or a diabetic man having a field day at Kentucky Fried Chicken."

Pretty much summed it all up there. We take death for granted and even laugh in its face often multiple times a day, little do we realize we will never truly obtain the "last laugh". Wonderful.

Keep it up!

Evan

p.s. I found one little typo you might want to edit... at least I think it's a typo? "Infects his life" at the end of the first P?

Comment on Eloise's HW27:

Eloise,

My goodness what a visual and grueling post to read! I am not sure if you meant to write it this way but being a filmmaker I could really, REALLY visualize your tale and even hear your tone in narration. One of the greatest lines to me was

"The melody to her environment is the constant beep, beep, beep, beep, beeeep beeeep beeeeep of the thermometer. When she can sleep she seems the most content, but the parallel world it sends her to seems quite unappealing as well. It's as if all the energy that usually pours outward upon others is battling within her trying to kill the bacteria."

To be honest if I were writing a screenplay it would go something exactly like this! Lines like this actually drove me to think about how I would frame such an image to do it justice. As always I would do a quick read through (especially for such a long post) to look for simple spelling and grammar errors. However in this case I found such grammar errors delightful because it made me hear the narrating voice so much better!

Evan

HW27- Visiting an Unwell Person

My visit to an "unwell person" was more of their visit to me. I am talking about my brother of course, a drummer who bangs on cans with conviction. However, he hasn't played drums for some weeks now, after he stepped on a toothpick, lodging it up the ball of his foot! At the time, he was up in his dorm room in Boston, hours away from us. After the fateful step, he attempted to pull out said toothpick. Unfortunately, while he got about half of it out, the other half snapped off inside his foot, making it virtually unreachable to bare hands. A friend of his escorted him to the Mass General (very good hospital btw) emergency room (keep in mind this was about 3 weeks before my own predicament in the ER) to have the toothpick removed. To him, this situation was painful and extremely unpleasant, yet at the same time hilarious (think of the sheer physics!!).

No doctor at Mass General could successfully remove the toothpick. They told him they could cut further, but they risk serious nerve damage. He told them not to (wouldn't want serious nerve damage to the foot of a drummer!), and they let him go with bandages, crutches, and most delicious of all, powerful antibiotics. This tasty combination made his life very unpleasant for some time, and after a short while he could no longer take the antibiotics. The doctors told him that there was simply nothing they could do about the toothpick, and because he seemed to avoid infection, was free to keep it encased in his foot (provided it didn't cause unnecessary pain and problems)

Well what do you know! Weeks later he could still feel the pain in his foot (so much that he could not so much as brush his foot on any surface), and this puzzled the doctors greatly. To fast-forward this for you, many tests were conducted and the riddle still has not been solved. Some specialists point to RSD, a nervous system disorder known to cause chronic burning of the affected nerve area. For privacy reasons I'm not going to go further than that, but if you don't know about RSD, look it up, and you will find that it is nothing to sneeze at. Other people have said that while he shows the signs of RSD, he is more likely to have the "psuedo" RSD, a fool's gold version of the real thing. As of this date (1/1/11) and countless tests, it is still unknown what that little piece of wood has done.

This has been a crushing blow to him. For someone who is extremely active, beyond the drum kit to the tennis courts and ping pong tables and swimming pools etc., to even think about the possibility of never having full use of you foot is astronomically depressing. Keep in mind that he went through almost everything I did with my father, even moreso being that he was my brother's best friend and closest companion. Right about now he feels pretty fed up with doctors, hospitals, and just about everything that has to do with illness and dying. He finds it particularly frustrating that so many well-educated specialists cannot solve a mystery solely caused by a tiny, obscure toothpick, and that this same small splinter of wood can single-handedly handicap him for the rest of his life. It is extremely upsetting to him and everyone around him that the medical system has yet again continued to fail our family (in addition to the fact that they couldn't even identify MY problem when I went to the ER a short time ago). Obviously my mom (the guest speaker) applies to the situation and continues to be my brother's best advocate, in a situation that is grimly familiar to that of my father's.

As for my brother's current attitude, he continues to be positive and fight with determination to beat whatever might be lurking against him. He has been making good progress in rehabilitating his footwork and continues to write some kickass music in the meantime! He knows his father would fight to the end against his enemy, and in those spirits he seems to be doing well!

HW26- Looking Back and Forward in Unit

Important Ideas / Insights:

-My own experiences in the emergency room lessened my hatred and personal intensity with illness and dying, most likely because I myself was in the 'hot seat' and was able to observe and infer from an 'ill person''s point of view. (source is obviously LIFE EXPERIENCE)

-I am now aware of more examples of determined people such as Dr. Paul Farmer, but I just cannot figure out how an inevitable problem such as illness and dying can be "solved". ("Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder)

-Best idea I took from Mountains Beyond Mountains: "I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I'm not going to stop because we keep losing. Now I actually think sometimes we may win. I don't dislike victory." ("Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder)

-While I admired Michael Moore's spin on the world of healthcare and its problems, I couldn't help but think of it as no better than a cartoon after watching the realistic and self-explanatory "Near Death" by Frederick Wiseman. I think the main difference is that Moore felt like in order for people to understand he had to include witty commentary and flashy graphics, whereas Wiseman simply knew that in order to penetrate the audience most, all he needed to do was hit 'record'.

-We are always kidding ourselves about death. We all at one point (whether we like to admit it or not) believe we are invincible, that death is unreachable, and that we are meant for "another day". This is perfectly understandable. Unless us human beings are convincing enough to fool ourselves about an afterlife, no one has the ability to fathom what happens when the 'long defeat' simply becomes the 'defeat'.

Even though it was short-lived, I really found "Near Death" to be the strongest of the sources presented in the unit (to me... understand that I've heard and talk to my mom all the time about my dad) because it felt like a revisit to my own brutal experiences with death. It was so interesting to me to get a first-hand look at how the doctors and nurses approached these touchy situations, not only toward each other but toward the dying people. Of course "Sicko" was entertaining and informative, and I'd be sure to watch it again, but I feel like its more entertainment than substance compared to Wiseman's efforts. Also, I felt like Moore was the puppet master of his film, controlling all that we see and what sources we consult. Wiseman seemed like a passenger, giving us a grand tour of what REALLY matters in the end- the illness and the dying!

My questions that I think would be interesting to discuss in class over the last couple of weeks would be: If we know illness and dying are truly inevitable, how can we cope with it? I mean how can we be at peace with this horrifying fact? Is there any way to make dying less painful? Isn't illness and dying necessary? Isn't it true that if we ALL received wonderful care, that fewer would die and therefore the world would become over-populated (getting even MORE out of hand)? I think these are questions we've brushed around, but have never directly addressed in full-out intellectual discussion.

HW25- Sicko Response

Precis of movie (at least as much as we watched in class): America is a land of freedom and equal opportunity- until you take a good look at the greatest equalizer of them all: illness and dying. There are millions of Americans who cannot afford or qualify for Health Insurance, and as a result they unnecessarily suffer from mutilation, deformation and humiliation (excuse the alliteration!). As if this were not unfair enough, there are people in this land of opportunity who have Health Insurance and STILL cannot receive adequate care for their illness. Like many other "lovely" qualities of the US, Health Insurance is simply another victim to capitalism; the rich get the greatest care and they themselves are often in control of picking and choosing who gets covered and who doesn't. Why not follow suit like other successful countries' healthcare programs? Because Pat Buchanan is afraid of communism of course!

One piece of evidence that Moore used to bolster his argument that I found quite shocking was the 79 year-old man sweeping bathrooms at PathMark. This may not have been the grandest or strongest use of evidence he made, but it disturbed me nonetheless. The reason why he continues to work turning on 80 is because his employer supplies him with adequate health coverage, something he could in no way attain himself in retirement. Moore is relying on the sympathy of the audience to strengthen his argument that Health Insurance in the U.S. has become long astray to exclude such an elder, and it succeeds.

Although it's general, I was curious to see how much the number of people with health insurance has changed. This does seem to be the first and foremost of Moore's pieces of evidence, after all. Upon some research I found this number to be mostly unchanged. However, I did come across some interesting statistics regarding the reasons for those who do NOT have insurance. It is estimated that there are about 46 million people in the U.S. who do not have HI in total. However, it should be noted that at least 10 million from this sum are not officially U.S. citizens. I found it interesting that on July 22nd, Obama claimed that 14,000 people will lose insurance every day. I am not entirely sure where HE got his source, but coming from him I suppose most people (excluding how ever many people Rush Limbaugh counts as) will take his word for it. I also found out that over 18 million of the uninsured are younger than the age of 34, which I find to be disturbing. Why Moore omitted some of these pieces of information is beyond me, but maybe it was because these facts came from http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/medicarehealthinsurance/a/insurancestats.htm.

Overall I think "Sicko" is an entertaining and informative movie, but I do get a feeling afterward that I have just watched a cartoon. While Moore's witty and sometimes aggravating commentary keeps the "average Joe" type viewer following along, and as I look deeper into his arguments and overarching thesis I have a hard time considering the credibility of his film. After thinking about other movies having to do with illness and dying that actually take the viewer into the hospital scene to leave them with only their own thoughts and no narrator "Sicko" feels kind of like a Quentin Tarantino movie (something that is undoubtably fun to watch but on a grand scale somewhat irrelevant). I find myself agreeing with Moore and seeing him as "one on our team" but having gone through intense experiences of I&D I am skeptical about his decision on what to show the mainstream audience. He seems to be preoccupied arguing about money, not the moral of the doctors themselves. I will certainly be sure to watch "Sicko" again, maybe with a more critical eye know that I know about other films.

HW 24- End of Book

Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Random House, 2004

Precis of ENTIRE BOOK:

Dr. Paul Farmer is a headstrong doctor and philosopher who subscribes to a world that excludes no one. He makes great sacrifice (his absence from his family and friends, his lack of sleep) to love and serve the world. From the cracked roads of Haiti to the slums of Peru, from the gruesome prisons of Russia and beyond he devotes his life to the health and well-being of the world around him. He is not a man without flaws, but a genius who is determined to fight a long, inevitable defeat to the things which makes us all similar: illness and dying. He may lose patients beyond his control and his temper, but he never gives up and never fails to make a triumphant return to his ultimate mission: to revolutionize and transform our morals that have to do with illness and dying. Tracy Kidder tags along to follow the chronicles of Partners in Health, Farmer's flagship organization, and finds that there is much to be learned from him. Paul Farmer knows that one day he will die and TB and AIDS will continue, but at least for a while, he felt like he was winning a fight against death- not just for himself, but for the world around him.

Gems:

"Now his legs and arms were emaciated. You could see all the bones in them, and his knee and elbow joints looked outsize, with the flesh shrunk away." (P. 268) This stopped me dead in my tracks. This was very very hard to read because it did a wonderful job of recreating some twisted images from my own memory I'd rather have forgotten. The connection between John and my father may not be great, but after reading this quote I cursed on anyone who would dare to get in the way of his survival. All the more tragic was his loss of the battle...

"I have fought the long defeat and brought other people on to fight the long defeat, and I'm not going to stop because we keep losing. Now I actually think sometimes we may win. I don't dislike victory." I feel like this almost entirely explains how Farmer identifies himself and his obligations towards others. I really admire his optimism that he helps others believe they are winning the fight against the long defeat, but I also admire his realism in that he knows in the end, it is just a long DEFEAT.

"The woman who said to me years ago, Are you incapable of complexity? That was an epiphany for me. Are you going to punish people for thinking TB comes from sorcery? It's like the guy on our own team, a nice guy, who said he would help with a water project in a town here, but only if the people really showed they wanted it. What if that standard had been applied to me when I was a kid, before I knew that water could carry organisms that made people sick?" This quote really spoke to me. Many people in our culture look to religion and their own belief system to dig deep and do two things: blame sickness on the divine and use the same idols as a motivator to help. Everyone is pretty much on the same team when it comes to illness and dying (unless you're a serial killer!).

In the end the final third of this book was an intense journey. I felt like most of my questions were answered (mainly questions like "what makes this guy tick?" and "doesn't he realize his futility in the grand scheme of things?") and I felt a deep connection between one of the chapters (the one about John) and my own life experiences. I think Dr. Farmer is a rare breed- one who simply does not care about the glory or the money, but whose only mission is to help others believe that they can win the long fight against death, even if it is just for a glimpse of a moment. People just don't want to die, and Farmer takes each and every one of these people in as if they were his own family. He may have been reckless and at some times chaotic, but in the end he is really just an advocate for those who need it most- the dying! I have to wonder how he could possibly outdo himself and/or what will happen when he finally "faces the long defeat".

HW 23- Illness and Dying Book Part 2

Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

Random House, 2004

Precis on chapters 12-14:

As Paul continued to make his trips between Boston and Cange, military rule was growing rapidly and Paul's girlfriend Ophelia became worried. Paul had become somewhat reckless, being rude to soldiers and smuggling thousands of dollars towards pacifist movements. It took the circumstance of gunpoint for Farmer to finally give in to the immense sacrifice (according to him of course) of saying "long live the Haitian army." After receiving a MacArthur grant in 1993, Paul retreated to Quebec to write his to-be successful and controversial book, "The Uses of Haiti" where he questioned the credibility of 'heroes' such as Woodrow Wilson and Mother Teresa. Finally, Farmer was formally banished from returning to Haiti (even bribery could not undo this) until October of 1994 when Aristide was reinstated. Paul returned to a different Haiti this time however, one that had been ravaged and virtually broken to shambles after the rule of the junta. Partners in Health had done quite the opposite, and only strengthened during this time. After obtaining a permanent HQ in Cambridge, it was now time for Paul to stretch his revolutionary arm to a new location.

Paul takes this new time to reflect on perhaps his biggest opponent: MDR, Multi-Drug Resistant TB. TB was one of the most common diseases Paul treated in Haiti, but MDR did not appear on the radar until the rule of the junta. Paul comes to realize that poverty is diseases' greatest boon, but super diseases such as MDR do not often appear in universally poor populations like in Haiti. This poverty creates a lack of basic human necessities: food, water, shelter that all help prevent deadly diseases. When a friend of Paul's falls victim to the frightening MDR in Peru, he takes this a sign as to where his efforts are needed most.

While still attending medical school, Paul had lived in the infamous Roxbury neighborhood of Boston. However, he was living in the hands of Father Jack, a priest who allowed Paul to stay at St. Mary of the Angels for the better part of his education. Long since after, Father Jack moved to the quaint slum of Carabayllo in Peru. Upon one of his visits back to Boston, Father Jack tells Paul that Carabayllo could use his help. Jim Kim, Paul's right hand man makes it clear that he wants to take charge of the Peru project and not long after helps to build a pharmacy next to Jack's church. Jim and Jack survey the medical scene in Carabayllo, and all seems fine until Father Jack becomes suddenly ill. He is diagnosed with TB, flown to Boston to be treated by Dokte Paul himself and treated with 4 of the 5 main TB drugs. Much to Paul's dread and dismay, Father Jack is of no saving and dies a month later. It turns out his friend had MDR, but not just any MDR, but a species impervious to all 5 TB drugs. Paul is broken.

BEST LINE (would post multiple gems but I found this particularly striking):

"Perhaps it is a universal tendency to view the deaths of strangers philosophically."- I found this quote to be very deep because in a sense I think we all disconnect ourselves from those who have died in order to view it in a strictly objective way. All the time we see people die on the news, and although these are strangers, we often take advantage of the news to widen our views on illness and dying. When a close family member becomes ill or dies, it becomes personal, not just to the sick or dead person, but it seems like the devil is out to screw you personally. We can't exactly take a step back to think about our loved ones' death in a philosophical way, whether it be because of pain or lack of memory (trauma often ends up as a blur in our memories).

Thoughts and Questions:

Up until now Paul seemed to me like a superhero. Maybe I was mislead but I felt like at the beginning of the book, if I was ever in danger, this guy was a definite trip to safety. Finally seeing one of his best friends die from a disease he could do nothing about was heartbreaking. Throughout these chapters one word has been ringing through my mind: bravery. The bravery Paul had to be so smug and disrespectful toward the junta, the bravery of Jim to lead PIH in Peru, the bravery of Father Jack to survey the sick people in his community. From the outcome of these events and my own personal experiences I know that bravery alone cannot save you, and in some cases, it's all about luck. Who's to say one day Paul wouldn't have run into a particularly pissed off soldier to find a cap in his head? What were the odds of neither Jim or Father Jack being in the pharmacy when it blew up? These are just thoughts that make me admire Paul and co. a lot more than I already did (which is pretty damn impressive!).

HW 21B Comments and more

Comment on Casey's HW21:

Casey,

It feels awfully weird commenting on this post, but I am very happy and touched by what you wrote. I felt you especially got who my father was, and I honestly would have thought you had known him prior to his illness by this sentence:

"Those who knew him remember him as an artist, a father, a neighborhood guardian, an involved community member, tenacious, stoic, a “fighter”. Although he was involved in various familial conflicts and was sometimes far from a peace-maker, the positive parts of his memory are particularly preserved."

Your last paragraph in its entirety spoke many truths to me, sometimes in ways I never even thought about myself (how pain represents the courage to feel). I wish I could write such a faithful and earnest tribute for you, but again part of me is glad you are not in my position. I sincerely appreciate your kind words, and as always I look forward to future posts,

Comment on Eloise's HW19:

Eloise,

"I think this exemplifies the INSANITY and abnormality of our society that the healing of the mind and human body IS predominantly INDUSTRIAL? "

You speak the truth! I think you hit the nail right on the head here and did a great job articulating your insights. However, like Casey, I too wonder what you mean by "TIME ENDS". Do you mean our sense of time, or time itself stops? I also agree with you that society (at least ours) is GROSSLY obsessed with eternal youth, which is a subject that hasn't really been touched on yet.

Spell check on Microsoft Word would not hurt, but again this is a minor suggestion.

Comment left on my HW 19 by Aaron:

I found the line where your mom was talking about the effect it had on her relationship with your father, "She said that IF there was any way that his illness and dying had any positive aspect (not really appropriate word choice but I honestly can't think of anything better to replace "positive", excuse me), it was in the effect it had on their marriage" to be very touching. It makes one think you never know what you have until it's too late. To know that your mother and father made a positive experience out of something so horribly dreadful gives me a better understanding of making the best of a bad situation. I can't even imagine what this whole process was like for you all. Sorry if this comment is not appropriate enough, but this very hard for me to write about. Thank you for allowing me to read this and I think you did a great job explaining your family experiences to illness and dying.

Comment left on my HW 21/Reflection by Mom:

I was quite struck by two things you said. First, I hadn't thought about your peers scrutinizing you for reactions to what I was saying. I suppose I thought about what they might be thinking when YOU spoke, but it never occurred to me that they would be looking at you for reactions as I spoke. I also never think of you as being particularly concerned with what others think of you because you always seems so sure of yourself, so it was interesting to me to hear you voice this. It made you a little more vulnerable in my eyes, not a bad thing. Secondly (and I suppose this is related), I never realized that you felt misunderstood by your peers (or cared). As close as we are, I guess we still have a lot we can learn about one another. In general, I wish to say that your postings have been very brave, and that I admire you and love you very much.

Mom

Comment on my Reflection by Casey:

Evan,
I did sometimes wonder what you were thinking in your mother's presentation, and why you sometimes smiled a bit. I think everyone does have an inherent desire to be heard...sometimes silence can be like shell, a burden. Perhaps you could have elaborated on the "deepest, most painful realms of my thoughts", because it would help the reader to understand your story further. I admire the way you continue to handle this episode with such grace.

Comment on my Reflection by Eloise:

I AM SO UPSET I MISSED THIS !!! HONESTLY THIS IS THE ONLY CLASS I WISH I COULD GOT TO SCHOOL FOR !!! GRRRRRR !!! you stated "search the deepest, most painful realms of my thoughts" I have been doing this alone recentley and I feel it has been helping me but it is hard, what were some of the questions asked?

Comment on my ER Reflection by Eloise:

I wish you would have reflected upon how this compares to the dominant social practice, why was your trip so anti-body? Does this show you that hospitals DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE PATIENT THEY CARE ABOUT THE $. I feel you on there not being one nurse/doctor, my uncles first MONTH in the hospital was the same !! It is ironic though how knowing that hostpitals are about the money, we still go. It is the ultimate money making trap, who dosent want to save there life if possible? I have to agree with you, I am sick @ home and it sucks!! but i do love the attention from my parents. I think this post and the one before it were great but need more reflection on how this connects to the bigger theme of our class ! The last one I get you just got home, I am even suprised you were able to bang out that much !!! But i was expecting more from this 1 !